


Phoenix Girl

by thesmolestnerd



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And so gay, Angst, F/F, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I take liberties with HIPPA, I've never even played the last of us why did I feel compelled to write this, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, dina is studying to be a social worker, ellie gets kidnapped, ellie is so fucking traumatized, protective dina, she volunteers at a hospital, she's so brave, this is not a happy fic, yeah no this is not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 11:13:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 28
Words: 33,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15929264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesmolestnerd/pseuds/thesmolestnerd
Summary: Dina's plan of casually volunteering at Jackson Hospital while working towards her degree in social work get thrown for a loop when a brutally beaten girl with no past is brought in. Dina makes it her mission to get Ellie to open up and trust her as she begins to heal.Please read the tags because boy oh boy could this be triggering.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I wrote this. I never even played the last of us. Ellie is really cute and kind of looks like Tierna Davidson.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think. 
> 
> (Also suggest to me a not garbage title.)

Dina heard a girl scream. She barely glanced up from the kid she was talking with. 

“I know you’re scared, but you have to brave, okay?” she said. “The doctors are trying their best to help your dad.” The girl screamed again. Dina looked over. She put her hand on top of the kid’s head. “Hey, bud, I think there’s something I need to take care of. Can you sit here and be brave for me?” The kid sniffled and wiped his noise on his arm. 

Dina got up and walked back into the emergency department. A large number of staff members had surrounded one of the gurneys. 

“No! Please! Get away—” Dina ducked around, getting closer and closer to it. She ducked under the arms of one of the doctors. 

The girl lying on the gurney couldn’t have been older than her. She had brown hair that fell in her bruised and bloodied face. Her breath was coming out in gasped as she pushed the doctors and nurses away. 

“No! Don’t touch! Pl-please!” Dina elbowed her way next to the girl.

“Hi,” she said. Green eyes looked up and met hers. Fear shown through them. “You’re safe. You’re at Jackson Hospital.” The girl’s eyes darted around the room. Dina leaned over her, blocking the girl’s view from the medical staff. “Look at me. No one is going to hurt you. Just focus on me.” The girl nodded. “Can I touch you?” The girl froze and nodded slowly. Dina put her hands on both sides of the girl’s face. 

One of the nurses moved closer and grabbed her arm. The girl flinched again. 

“Hey, hey,” said Dina. “Shh…You’re okay. Focus on me…” The girl sniffled. Dina started humming softly, not breaking eye contact with the girl. She heard the staff move around them. “I’m Dina. Can you tell me your name?” 

“Ellie,” said the girl. Dina smiled. 

“Thank you,” she said. “I know it’s scary, but you need to let the doctors help you. No one will hurt you here.” Ellie nodded. 

“Okay,” she said quietly. One of the nurses stuck the girl—Ellie—with a needle. Ellie whined.

“Hey, hey shh…” said Dina. Ellie tried to pull her arm back. 

“Don’t move.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Hold still.” 

Ellie turned her head from side to side and squeezed her eyes shut. 

“Can’t find a vein.”

“Sweetheart, hold still.” Ellie let out a sob. Dina rubbed Ellie’s cheeks. 

“Take it easy, Ellie,” she said. Ellie shook her head. 

“Another little pinch.” Ellie’s whole body jerked. 

“No!” She wrenched herself up, shoving everyone off. She rolled off the gurney and landed on her knees. She let out a scream and tried to push herself up. The staff started closing in on her. 

“Give her some space!” said Dina. She yanked someone back by their scrub top. The staff began stepping back, giving her breathing room. 

Ellie was on her knees, dry heaving as pain and sobs wracked her body. She trembled as her arms collapsed from under her. She landed in the spit and bile. Dina kneeled in front of her.

“Take it easy,” said Dina. “You’re safe.” Ellie sniffled. “Everyone here wants to help you, okay? We need you to trust us, though. We can’t fix you unless you let us.” Ellie sniffled. 

“Just knock me out,” she whispered. Dina smiled sadly. 

“We’re trying to do that,” said Dina. “You just need to hold still long enough for us to get an IV in.” Ellie bit her lip. “Can you do that?” Ellie bit her lip. “Can you let the nurses lift you up?” The gurney was lowered. Ellie flinched as the nurses came over. Dina helped pull her up onto the gurney. Ellie groaned and let out a low cry. They raised the gurney back up. 

Dina sat at the head of her bed and gently pulled Ellie up onto her lap. Dina put one hand on Ellie’s forehead and the other on her cheek. 

“Is this okay?” she asked. Ellie’s eyes darted back and forth. She flinched as the nurse got ready to start an IV line. Dina looked around and saw the basket of plush toys meant for nervous kids in the ED. Dina grabbed one—the softest one she could grab. 

“Hey, Ellie, here,” said Dina. She gave her the dinosaur. Ellie didn’t seem to notice it. Dina gently rubbed it against her face. Ellie’s shoulder shoulders seemed to relax a bit. She nuzzled her nose into the dino. The hand that the doctors weren’t attempting to start an IV lifted up to fist the dino. 

A nurse smiled at Dina and mouthed ‘thank you.’ 

“Ellie, sweetheart, I’m going to put an oxygen mask around your mouth, okay?” said a nurse. Ellie’s head bobbed. The nurse slipped it around her face. Ellie nuzzled into the push toy again. Dina sighed, relieved she didn’t try to throw it off. 

“She’s too dehydrated. I can’t get it in.” Ellie moaned. 

“We need to put in a central line.” Ellie whined even louder. Dina shushed her again. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a doctor preparing a syringe. Dina squeezed Ellie’s hand as her shirt was removed around her shoulder.

“No…” mumbled Ellie. Dine squeezed Ellie’s hand. She watched as the skin around Ellie’s collar bone was cleaned. 

“Little pinch.”

“No…” Ellie whined. A doctor injected anesthetic around her collar bone. Ellie screamed into the plush. Dina flinched in surprise.

“Hey, hey,” said Dina. “Shh…” Ellie continued screaming as the rest of her collar bone was numb. During the actual process of inserting the line, Ellie stopped screaming.

“All done.” Dina looked over and watched as several IV bags were attached. 

“Good job…”

“We’re going to give you something to help you relax.” Ellie nodded. Her head drooped to the side. 

“What did you give her?” asked Dina. 

“Ketamine.” Dina nodded. Ellie’s breathing evened out and her grip loosened on the plush. Dina got up and placed Ellie’s head on the pillow.

“What the hell happened to her?” The doctor shook her head. 

“We don’t know. A Good Samaritan found her on the side of the road. From first glance, it looks like she has some injuries consistent with a hit and run but…” She reached over and revealed Ellie’s right arm.

“That’s a brand…” said Dina. “A healed brand.” The doctor nodded. “God, what happened to this kid?” The doctor shook her head.

“We’re trying to figure out who she is. You’re the only one who managed to really get anything out of her.” 

“Well, the social work degree has to be worth some of the money I’m paying for it,” said Dina. The doctor shook her head. 

“I’ll have someone let you know when she’s in a room and resting, but that’s going to be a while. There’s a lot of things that need to be checked. The kid’s in pretty bad shape. I wish we could have kept her awake to tell us what’s wrong but…” Dina nodded.

“Yeah. Please keep me update,” she said. She ran her hand through Ellie’s hair. “I really don’t want this kid to be alone.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get used to this frequent updates lol.
> 
> I'm glad you guys like it so much. Enjoy!! I love hearing from you all!

Dina slowly walked into the room. The lights were dimmed and other than the beeping and slow rumbling of the machines, was completely silent. The girl was flat on her back, a pillow propped under her knees. 

“Hey there, you,” said Dina. She walked over and squeezed Ellie’s hand. Ellie’s eyes fluttered a little, but in the end stayed shut. 

A resident walked in. 

“Oh, hey Dina,” she said. 

“Hey, Jessie,” said Dina. “What are her injuries?” Jessie swiped through the tablet in his hand. 

“Uh…a non-displaced fracture of the transverse processes of L2, 3, and 4…broken ribs, punctured lung, uh…grade 3 liver laceration, kidney bruising…wow, she’s really malnourished. Her kidneys were in the process of shutting down… She has extensive scarring, especially genital scarring. God, recovery’s going to suck. Is she a friend of yours?” Dina shrugged. 

“Something like that,” said Dina. 

“Well, good. Because she’s going to need it,” he said. He began taking Ellie’s vitals. “When are you free tonight?” Dina pulled a chair over and sat down at the chair by Ellie’s bed side.

“Um, I dunno,” said Dina. “I kind of want to stay until she wakes up.” Jessie raised an eyebrow.

“Oh. Okay,” he said. He finished checking Ellie. “Uh, she’s stable for now. Someone will come and check on her in a little while.” Dina nodded. “She probably won’t be coherent for a few more days.”

“Thanks for telling me, but I think I’ll wait,” said Dina. “I don’t want her to wake up alone.” 

“Suit yourself,” said Jessie. 

“Do you know anything about her?” asked Dina. 

“Since we don’t have her full name we don’t have much to work on,” said Jessie. “The cops are really eager to talk to her, but we’re probably going to keep her pretty heavily sedated for a week or so. At least until we can extubate her. She’s not going to tolerate the ventilator well when she wakes up.” Dina nodded. 

“I’m gonna go. Someone will come and check on her soon,” said Jessie. Dina nodded.   
***********************************************************************  
Of course, the first time that Ellie would come to, Dina would be in class. She could feel her phone vibrating nonstop in her pocket. Her professor looked over and glared at her. 

“Sorry,” said Dina. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and glanced at it. “Sorry. Family emergency.” Dina grabbed her bag and got up.

When she got to Jackson, she ran inside up to the ICU. 

Ellie was sitting up coughing, a nurse supporting her and one of the residents checking monitors at her side. Her face shone red and sweat dripped down her cheeks. 

“Hi,” said Dina. “I’m Dina. Do you remember me? We met when you came in.” Ellie blinked slowly. She was clearly very out of it. Ellie’s eyes drifted around the room and stopped on Dina’s face. She stared at her, seeming to work to try take in all of the details of Dina’s face. 

The door opened again. The woman made eye contact with Dina. Dina smiled sheepishly. 

“Hello. I’m Cara. I’m a social worker here. This is Dina, who is studying social work and volunteers here in her free time. Or not so free time,” Cara muttered. Dina smiled sheepishly. “Can you tell me what your name is?” Ellie blinked and shook her head like she was trying to clear her head of cobwebs. 

“Ellie Williams,” said the girl. Cara smiled. 

“Good. Thank you,” she said. “When’s your birthday?” Ellie supplied her birthday.

“Wait…” said Dina. “You’re 19?” Ellie nodded. She sunk back into the pillows. It was hard to see this small girl in front of her with a purple dragon oxygen mask on her face as an adult. 

“Is there anyone you would like us to call?” asked Cara. Ellie opened her mouth and closed it back up. Ellie sniffled and grabbed her ribs. “Are you in pain?” Ellie blinked slowly. She reached up and rubbed her nose. 

“Um…where am I?” she rasped. 

“Jackson Children’s Hospital in Wyoming,” said Dina. Ellie nodded. “Where are you from?” Ellie bit the inside of her mouth and started rubbing on the brand on the inside of her forearm. “Hey.” Ellie froze. “Don’t do that, okay?” Ellie nodded and started scratching at the brand and breathing faster. 

Cara bent lower to make eye contact with Ellie.

“Ellie, could you look at me please. You’re safe. No one is going to hurt you here. We just want to help you feel better. You are in control here. You can tell us whatever you need.” Ellie looked around and sunk back into the bed and pulled the blanket to her chin. “I would really like to talk with you about what happened to you. Do you want to do that now?” Ellie squeezed her eyes shut. “You can say no. Nothing bad will happen to you. You will not be punished for telling us what you want.” Ellie took a shaky breath. 

“Okay. We’ll give you some space. Just press the call button if you need us.” Cara walked out, beckoning Dina with her. Dina nodded and followed her out as the nurse finished up and went to follow.

“Wuh-wait…” Dina walked into Cara. Cara stopped and turned around. 

“Stay.” Dina gulped. Ellie was staring right at her. 

“Me?” said Dina. Ellie nodded. “Just me?” Ellie nodded shily. “Yeah, yeah. Of course.” Something like relief flashed across Ellie’s face. Dina walked over and sat in the chair next to Ellie’s bed. 

“Thank you…” said Ellie. Dina shook her head. 

“You don’t need to thank me. I wanted to make sure you were okay. I was worried about you,” said Dina. Ellie creased her eyebrows.

“Why? You don’t know me,” said Ellie. Dina shrugged. 

“It’s my job to care. I volunteer here because I want to help people. I like to help people. I’m studying to be a social worker,” said Dina. Ellie nodded. Her eyes were drooping, but her eyes kept snapping open. “Nothing bad is going to happen when you fall asleep.” Ellie reached up and pulled on the band holding the oxygen mask around her face. 

“Hey. Don’t do that,” said Dina. Ellie paused and stared at her. “Do…do you want me to read to you or something?” Ellie shrugged as her head lolled to the side. Dina opened the ebook app on her phone. She hadn’t downloaded anything in ages…

“How about Harry Potter?” Ellie shrugged. Dina sighed and cleared her throat. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley were proud to say they were perfectly normal thank you very much…”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Lemme know what you think

Dina scrolled through her phone, occasionally glancing up at the sleeping Ellie. The dinosaur plush was still tucked under her arm as her chest rose and fell. Dina couldn’t believe this girl was 4 years younger than her…she looked so small and she’d gone through so much. Dina wasn’t even sure she wanted to know what happened to Ellie. 

Ellie’s forehead creased. She let out a whimper. 

“Hey, hey, shh…” said Dina. “You’re safe, Ellie.” Dina gently ran her hand across Ellie’s arm. Ellie shifted and opened her eyes, wincing. “Hey, you. How do you feel?” Ellie squeezed her eyes shut. She opened her mouth weakly and sniffled. “Can you tell me what’s wrong? Are you in pain?” Ellie closed her eyes and nodded. 

“My back…really hurts,” she said. Dina nodded and pressed the call button. 

“I can go get the nurse. It might be faster,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head. “Okay, okay, I’ll stay.” Ellie was clearly trying to steady her breathing. “The kind of injury you have in your back probably isn’t going to cause any permanent damage, but it will…hurt. A lot.” Dina paused. “That’s not that much comfort.” Ellie bit her lip and pushed her head into the pillow. “You just need to lay back, okay?” Ellie squeezed her eyes shut. Dina held out her hand at the edge of her bed. “You’re okay…” Ellie reached over and grabbed her hand. She squeezed it.

A nurse came in.

“What’s the matter?” she asked. 

“Her back hurts,” said Dina. The nurse opened up the chart on the computer. Her eyes skimmed the information. 

“Alright. We can give you some more meds,” she said. “I’ll be right back.” Ellie’s grip tightened. Dina began rubbing the back of her hand. Tears dripped out of the corner of Ellie’s eye. Dina started humming softly. 

“Hey,” she said. “You’re okay. You’ll feel better soon.” The nurse came back in. 

“I’m going to give you something in your IV. You’re okay. You don’t need to move,” she said. Ellie nodded slightly. Dina watched Ellie’s face for any signs of discomfort. 

“Would you be willing to try a pillow and some ice packs?” the nurse asked. Ellie nodded. The nurse finished up and walked over to the closet, grabbing some pillows. “I’m going to change the position of the bed, okay? Just relax.” Dina stepped back, and Ellie squeezed her hand tighter. 

“I’m not going anywhere. Just getting out of the way,” she said. The nursed moved around to her side. 

“I’m going to lift your legs up, okay?” The nurse pulled back the blanket, and Ellie flinched as the nurse tucked pillows under her knees. “Would you like me to put something between your knees to keep your legs from rubbing?” Ellie opened her eyes and looked down. She shook her head. “Alright.” The nurse pulled the blanket back up and tucked it in. “Let’s sit you up…” Ellie let out a soft cry as the nurse sat her up. Ellie flinched as the nurse tucked the ice pack against her back and leaned her back against a stack of pillows. 

“Do you want a drink?” asked the nurse. Ellie shrugged. The nurse picked up a large water bottle with a straw. Ellie startled back when the nurse pulled back the oxygen mask. “Take a sip.” Ellie took a small sip and then, seeing to realize it was just regular water, started gulping everything down. “Hey. Take it easy. Go slow or you’ll make yourself sick.” Ellie swallowed and coughed a little. The nurse wiped her mouth off.

“Feeling better?” asked Dina. Ellie shrugged. Dina slowly reached up to smooth the sweaty hair from her face. She stopped herself. Ellie made eye contact with her a brief second before looking away. 

“So, we need to help you gain a little bit of weight. It will help you feel a lot better,” said the nurse. Ellie looked terrified. “We put in a feeding tube while you were sleeping…” Ellie lifted her hand up to her nose. She grabbed at the ng tube. The nurse touched her elbow. Ellie dropped her arm. “Don’t worry. It won’t hurt.” Ellie nodded. She watched the nurse go back out. Ellie pulled on the oxygen mask.

“Hey,” said Dina. “Don’t do that.” Ellie dropped her hand. She looked around. Her eyes dropped down to their hands intertwined. “Is this okay?” Ellie nodded. She squeezed the dino plush. “I’m glad you like it.” Dina nodded to plush. Ellie squeezed it tighter. “Oh, I, um, I gave it to you…” Ellie looked at it. “I don’t want it back. I figured you’d want something to keep you company. That you, um, wouldn’t want to be alone…” Ellie sniffled. She nodded. “Do you have any family?” Ellie froze. “Okay. Sorry. Sorry. I don’t want to upset you…it’s just that…I’m sure someone is worried about you…” Ellie shook her head and tried to turn around. Her body seized up.

“Hey. Don’t…” said Dina. “Just take it easy, okay?” 

The door slid open. The nurse was carrying a bag of nutrition and a could syringes. She smiled at Ellie. 

“Hi. I’m just going to attach this to your ng tube. You won’t feel anything. Just relax for me.” Ellie nodded. The Ellie flinched as the nurse went to touch her face. “After give you something to eat, I’m going to take a little blood. A little bit after the bag is done, they’ll take some more, just to check that you’re getting better.” Ellie nodded. 

The nurse finished up with the tubing and went to Ellie’s arm. She tied the rubbed band around her upper arm. Ellie grimaced and looked away at Dina. Dina squeezed her hand again. 

“You’re okay…” Ellie nodded and flinched as the nurse swabbed her arm. 

“You’re a lot more hydrated now, so this should be really easy,” said the nurse. Ellie bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut. The nurse touched her arm before the needle slid in. Ellie flinched back and let out a panicked sob. 

“Hold still.” Ellie squirmed. 

“Hey…shh…” said Dina. The nurse attached the needle to a vial. Ellie watched it fill. She leaned forward a bit and started gagging. Dina grabbed a basin and pulled down Ellie’s mask. “Hey, you’re okay.” Ellie’s hand shot out and grabbed Dina’s shirt. “Oh, Ellie…” The nurse detached the vial and took out the needle. The nurse bandaged her arm. The nurse stuck an anti-nausea patch behind Ellie’s ear. 

Ellie’s head was already falling to the side before the nurse finished up. Ellie kept pealing her eyes open.

“Hey, go to sleep,” said Dina. Ellie barely looked at her before she fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: This chapter deals really heavily with the topic of rape so like...be careful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. New chapter. Lemme know what you think.

Dina knocked on the door and slowly walked in. 

Cara was sitting in a chair next to Ellie in the bed and an officer stood several feet away. As stupid as it sounded, Ellie looked stressed. Well, obviously, Ellie had been stressed from the moment Dina had met her, but it seemed worse now. She looked like she was in pain. All her muscles were tense. The arm with her brand was held protectively over her stomach. 

“We found your adopted father, Ellie,” said Cara. “We’re still trying to get ahold of him. Do you want him to come to see you?” Ellie stared at the blank wall in front of her. When Dina stepped in, Ellie looked over at her. Dina gave her a comforting smile. “Did Joel do this to you?” Ellie shook her head. Dina walked over to her. 

“Hey there,” said Dina. Some of the line disappeared from Ellie’s forehead. “You’re off the mask. Are you feeling better?” The purple, glitter dragon mask had been replaced with a nasal cannula. 

“A little,” muttered Ellie. Dina smiled wider. 

“I’m glad,” said Dina. 

“Feel…a lot more awake,” said Ellie. Dina tried to ignore the surprised expression of the cop and Cara. Dina walked over to Ellie and held out her hand. Ellie grabbed it. 

“I’ll be back later,” said the cop. She walked out. 

“Are you going to be okay with Dina?” asked Cara. Ellie nodded. Cara walked out. 

“How was your day?” Ellie shrugged. 

“Lots of people keep talking…to me,” said Ellie. 

“And you don’t wanna talk to them?” asked Dina. Ellie shook her head. “You don’t wanna talk about what happened to you?” Ellie shook her head. “What do you want?” Ellie looked away and shrugged. “Okay. We can talk about something else.” Ellie nodded. 

“Please,” she said. Ellie looked over at the water. 

“Oh. You want it?” said Dina. Ellie nodded. 

“Please,” she said again. Dina grabbed the cup and held the straw to Ellie’s lips. Ellie’s hand circled Dina’s as she tried to grab her own cup. Ellie finished drinking and leaned her head back. Dina put the cup back as Ellie looked down at the scar on her arm. She started scratching at it.

“Hey,” said Dina. “No.” She grabbed Ellie’s wrist. Ellie froze. “Shit sorry.” Dina let go. Ellie sighed and looked back down. She looked up. The two of them locked eyes. 

Ellie jumped at a knock on the door, breaking the moment. 

“Hi, Ellie,” said the doctor. Ellie tensed, her nails digging into Dina’s hand. “So, I know you don’t want to do this, but we need to check your genital injuries.”

“No,” said Ellie. Her breathing picked up. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” said the doctor. “Take a deep breath. We’re going to take everything at your pace, okay?” Ellie squeezed Dina’s hand tighter. Dina reached up and started tracing patterns in the back of her hand. Ellie sniffled. Dina shushed her softly. “We can give you something to help you relax. You’ll still probably be aware of it, but you’ll feel distant from it.” Ellie nodded. 

“Okay…” she said. A nurse came in to inject the IV. 

“If we’re going to fast, you can tell us at any time to slow down or stop for a little while,” said the doctor. Ellie nodded. “Oh, and would you like Dian to leave?” Ellie shook her head.

“No.” The doctor smiled. 

“Okay then,” she said. “We’ll let the meds kick in. Once you’re comfortable, we’ll start.” Dina reached out her hand. She faltered. 

“Can I touch you?” asked Dina. “Like would it make you feel calmer?” Ellie shrugged and looked her in the eye. “Is that a yes? I need a yes or no, Ellie.”

“Please,” she said quietly. Dina reached over and ran a hand through Ellie’s hair. Ellie tensed, but by the second swipe of Dina’s hand, Ellie had relaxed. 

“You’re so brave,” mumbled Dina. “I’m so proud of you.” Ellie shifted a little and sighed. She ran her free hand over the dinosaur plush. The doctor walked out of the room. The nurse stayed, setting things up on the rolling table next to Ellie’s bed. Ellie looked over at it. 

“Hey,” said Dina. She tilted Ellie’s chin away. “Look at me, okay?” Dina moved her chair so she was facing Ellie completely. “I’m right here. You’re okay. Just don’t think about it.” Ellie sniffled. “Do you want a drink?” Ellie bit her lip and shook her head. “Okay.”

The nurse looked at the monitors and typed somethings out on the computer. 

“How are you feeling? Are you a little tired?” she asked. Ellie nodded. “Okay. We’re going to start soon.” The nurse walked out. 

“I don’t wanna do this,” said Ellie. 

“I know. I’m so sorry,” said Dina. “But they have to make sure that you’re healing.” Ellie looked up at Dina. Her eyes were massively watery, and her pupils were dilated to the size of nickels. 

“He juh-just kept going. He kept touching me…and fucking me…I didn’t want it. It hurt but he—but David—he wouldn’t stop. He wanted—he—he just—he said I wasn’t tight. So he—he said—he said he had to fix muh-me,” stuttered Ellie. 

“Woah, hey,” said Dina. “Shh…he won’t touch you now. Don’t work yourself up.” 

“I-I got—I got angry. And it hurt. He hurt Riley. She was dead and—and—and I-I kuh-killed him,” said Ellie. Dina blinked in surprise. 

“Hey, um, we can worry about that later, okay?” said Dina. “For now, let’s just take it easy…” 

The doctor and nurse reentered.

“Alright,” said the doctor. “Ready to start?” Ellie didn’t respond. “We’re to help you scooch down.” The nurse pressed a button to fold down the end of the bed and pull up stirrups. Ellie squeezed her eyes shut. 

The nurse helped pull her down. She put a sheet over her lap and place her legs in the stirrups.

“Is this position okay on your back?” asked the nurse. Ellie shrugged. “Okay.” The doctor rolled over on stool, snapping her gloves. Ellie winced. 

“We’re going to start now.” She pulled the sheet back. “I’m just going to look first.” Ellie stared at the ceiling. Dina wiped Ellie’s hair from her face and hummed softly. Ellie was doing a lot better than Dina had hoped. “I’m going to touch you now…” As soon as the doctor made contact with her, her entire body tightened. Ellie started hyperventilating.

“Ellie, you’re safe. Please relax,” Dina said. Ellie sniffled. Her entire body jerked back. Dina started humming softly. Tears dripped down her face. 

“I’m going to spread open your labia,” said the doctor. Ellie gripped Dina’s hand tighter. Dina couldn’t feel her fingers. “You’re doing really well.” Dina set her hand in Ellie’s hair, gently scratching her scalp. Ellie seemed like she was trying to control her breathing. She stared up at the ceiling. “Could you open your legs a little more.” Ellie shook her head. “You’re doing really well, Ellie. It will be over soon. Just let your legs fall open…” Dina didn’t looked over, but she saw Ellie’s forehead crease and assumed she obeyed. “Good…You’re going to feel some pressure.”

“Fuck! Ow,” whined Ellie. Her breathing started speeding up again. 

“You’re going to feel my fingers.” Ellie moved away. “Do you want me to stop? Do you need a break?” Ellie shook her head. 

“K-keep going. Get it over with,” said Ellie. Dina shook her head. 

“Are you sure?” she asked. 

“Keep going!” Ellie yelled. “Please. Ahh…” Dina shushed her and pressed her forehead to Ellie’s.

“Okay, okay. Hang in there,” said Dina. 

There was a sound of plastic packaging opening. Ellie’s breathing was speeding up more and more.

“I need you to relax,” said the doctor. “I’m going to put in the speculum.” Ellie shut her eyes. She yelled as it slid inside of her. She jerked away from Dina and vomited on herself. Bile and spit dripped out of her mouth onto her gown. She started crying in earnest. Dina shushed her and reached over, grabbing a tissue. Before she could even begin to wipe her mouth off, Ellie gagged again.

“Almost done,” murmured the doctor. Ellie’s knees were shaking as she tried not to snap them closed. “Alright…We’re going to take your legs out of the stirrups, and Nurse Mary is going to clean you off and put some medicine down there.” Ellie gagged and nodded again. The doctor walked out. 

Mary, the nurse, took Ellie’s legs from the stirrups. She folded them away and pulled Ellie’s legs open against the bed. 

“There are some new gowns in the closet over there,” said Mary. Dina nodded and got up. Ellie opened her eyes and whined. 

“I’m just going to get a new gown,” said Dina. “I’ll be back in one second. I don’t want you to feel icky.” Ellie sniffled. She slowly pulled her hand back. Dina walked over and got out a clean gown. She didn’t even glance at Ellie’s exposed lower half. “Can I change your gown?” Ellie nodded. Dina gently changed the gown without exposing any of Ellie’s chest.

“Better?” asked Dina. Ellie sniffled and coughed. The nurse looked up.

“I’m going to put some ointment in your vagina,” said Mary. Ellie nodded. She made a face as Mary finished up. 

“Alright. All done.” The nurse pulled off her gloves and helped her sit back. She cleaned up the wrappers and garbage. The nurse finished up and left. Ellie leaned forward and let out a loud sob. She buried her face in her hands. It came in waves as her body shook. 

“Oh Ellie,” said Dina. “Can I hold you?” Ellie nodded. Dina sat at the edge of the bed. She pulled Ellie into her shoulder as Ellie continued to sob.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, another familiar face arrives, let me know what you think...

“She’s still in the ICU?” Cara looked up from her computer at the girl who stormed into her office.

“Ellie Williams? Yes,” she said. “She’s had a low-grade fever since she came in. It spiked last night.” Dina stood at the door and nodded slowly. “Come in. You said she told you some things yesterday…” Dina walked in slowly. 

“So when she was sedated before the checked her, um, injuries…she mentioned some stuff about what happened to her,” said Dina. She sat down across from Cara. Cara looked away from her computer. “She mentioned a man named David…He raped her. I think he’s the one who…mutilated her. She said he killed Riley. And that she…that Ellie…killed David.” Cara raised an eyebrow. She pulled out a legal pad and scribbled it down. 

“David and Riley were the names she mentioned?” asked Cara. Dina nodded. “Okay. I will let the police know…” 

“Have you found her family yet?” asked Dina. Cara sighed. 

“Her adopted father, Joel Miller, is the one who reported her missing…5 years ago. We’re having a hard time tracking him down,” said Cara. 

“Wait…she was missing for 5 years?” said Dina. Cara nodded. “Poor baby…” Dina fought the urge to run and go hold Ellie. 

“If the police have anymore questions, I’ll call you,” said Cara. Dina nodded. 

“Is Ellie not talking?” Cara shook her head. 

“She’ll barely talk to anyone. Other than you. I’ve been working with some other psychiatrists and trauma specialists…Lord knows what that girl went through,” said Cara. Dina nodded. “You can go see her now. I know you’re dying to—” Dina all but ran out of the room. 

Ellie was back to looking absolutely awful. Her face and chest were bright red. Sweat and tears dripped down her face. 

Mary, the nurse from yesterday, was wiping down her face and trying to put ice packs under her arm pits and around her groin. 

“Nuh-no…” whined Ellie. “’M cold…” 

“You have a fever. We need to cool you down, sweetheart,” Mary said. 

“Hey, Ellie,” said Dina softly. Ellie stopped struggling and gave Dina a weak smile. 

“Hi,” she said. Mary reached over and wedged an icepack in her armpit. Ellie let out a high-pitched whine. 

“Hey, hey, shh…” said Dina. “You’re okay. We’re just trying to cool you down.”

“C-cold,” said Ellie. Dina wiped he sweaty hair from Ellie’s face, grazing her sticky forehead. 

“You may feel cold, but you have a fever. Your body is really hot. You have to let the nurse cool you down,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head. Dina grabbed the towel from Mary and wiped the sweat off of Ellie’s face. Ellie pressed her face into the towel. Dina smiled softly and scratched the back of her head. Ellie moaned softly and mumbled something indistinguishable. The nurse pulled her up and wedged some pillows under her back. Ellie moaned in protest. 

“Sorry,” said the nurse. “I’m just trying to get you comfy.” Ellie groaned. Dina wiped the hair from her forehead again.

“Just relax, Ellie,” said Dina. “Just go back to sleep.” Ellie tossed her head from side to side. 

“Duh-don’t fuh-eel…” mumbled Ellie. She leaned forward. The nurse shoved a basin under her chin right in time to catch the bile dribble from her mouth. Dina cooed softly. Ellie sniffled and cried. Dina grabbed the wet cloth and wiped off of her face. 

“I know, I know,” said Dina. “You can’t be comfortable like this.” Ellie turned away from the cloth. 

“Don’ttouchme,” said Ellie. Dina immediately moved her hand. 

“I’m so sorry,” said Dina. Ellie whined again. The nurse looked at Dina and shook her head. 

“We should give her some space,” she said quietly. Dina nodded and bit her lip. 

“I’ll be back when you feel better, okay Ellie?” Dina tried to make eye contact with her. Ellie’s eyes glanced over the ceiling, unseeing. Dina walked out.   
*******************************************************************************  
Dina looked through the window to Ellie’s room in the ICU. 

“She’s hallucinating,” said Cara. “You shouldn’t go in there. She just needs to sleep it off.” Dina scratched the back of her neck. 

“Is it dangerous?” asked Dina. 

“She’s still pretty weak,” said Cara. “And this seems to have caused her to regress…” Dina nodded. 

“This better not kill her,” said Dina. “She’s survived so much for so long. To die now would…” Dina shook her head and sniffled. She rubbed her nose. Cara squeezed Dina’s shoulder. 

“I’ll call you when she’s coherent again,” said Cara. “There’s nothing you can do for her right now.” Dina nodded. She turned away. Just then, she heard a man yell. 

“Where’s my kid? Ellie? Babygirl?” A disheveled looking man with scrappy hair and beard. He had a crazy look in his eyes. He was a desperate man. 

“Sir?” said Cara. “Can I help you?” The man stopped and stared at her like she was crazy.

“Where’s Ellie Williams? I need to see her!”

“Sir, what’s your name? I can’t permit you to see her until you’ve spoken to the police.” The man tried to push her aside. 

“Fuck that,” said the man. “I need to see Ellie. God, if she’s alive. I need to see it’s her. I need to see she’s alive. It’s been nearly 5 goddamn years. I buried an empty casket. I need to see her. I need someone to tell me that it’s definitely her, and then I need to hold my kid!” Cara looked down the hall and saw an officer jogging down the hall. 

“Mr. Miller! Sir!” he yelled. The man turned. The officer stopped behind him. “We cleared him. He’s not a suspect.” Mr. Miller pushed the cop over to look through the window. A huge range of emotions flew across his face. 

“Oh my God…” he said. His expression softening. “She looks so fragile…is it really her?” Cara nodded. 

“We did DNA testing against the sample you gave when she first went missing,” she said. “I’m Cara, her case worker. Would you like to see her first or talk first?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter because I didn't want to write my English essay.
> 
> Lemme know what you think!!

The man scratched the back of his neck. 

“I want to see her but…I’m not going to be able to leave…” Cara smiled sympathetically. 

“Alright. I’ll take you to my office,” she said. Mr. Miller nodded. He scratched his beard and looked over at Dina. 

“Who are you?” he asked her. 

“Um…I’m Dina,” she said. 

“She’s my intern studying social work and psychology,” said Cara. “She’s become very close with Ellie, trying to keep her company Would you like her to sit in with us? The man nodded and scrutinized her. He held out his hand. 

“Joel,” he said. Dina reached over and shook it. 

Cara lead them down the hall to her office. Joel looked around. 

“Ellie’s 19 now…How’d she end up in a children’s hospital?” he asked. She’s terribly skinny and everyone thought she was a child. 

“A children’s hospital would be best to take care of her current needs,” said Cara. Joel nodded slowly. Cara let him in her office. Cara sat behind her desk. Joel sat on the other side. Dina stood against the back wall. 

“I don’t really know what happened…only what the cops told me. They found her on a country road. Someone hit her, called 911…” Joel sighed. 

“Most of her serious injuries were sustained when she got hit,” said Cara. She opened up a file on the computer. “She was very weak, so the impact caused more damage than it otherwise would have. She’s nearly 30lbs underweight. In the crash she sustained a non-displaced fracture of the transverse processes of L2, 3, broken ribs resulting in a punctured lung, a grade 3 liver laceration, and kidney bruising.” Joel rubbed his face and nodded slowly. “She also had lots of genital trauma, burns, bruises, and lacerations, as well as some partially healed fractures.” Joel let out a low sob. 

“Will she be alright?” asked Joel.

“From what I heard from her doctors, although we should probably have a full team meeting, she’s very sick. She has a fever right now, but if she manages to fight it off, she should be fine. Her malnourishment is the most life-threatening issue after he fever. It’s what is preventing her from healing as well as she should. We put a feeding tube in through her nose. We’re trying to get her used to having something in her stomach before we get her onto liquid and eventually solid diet.” Joel nodded. “Do you have any questions?”

“Can I see her?” asked Joel. Cara nodded. 

“Dina will take you back to her. Probably sometime tomorrow all of her doctors and I will come and meet with you to talk about her treatment,” said Cara.

“Thank you,” said Joel. Dina walked towards the door and opened it.

Joel and her went to the hall quietly. Joel rubbed his face and looked around nervously. They walked down to the ICU. Dina opened the door. Ellie was propped up on her side, propped up on pillows and covered in ice packs. She let out a small whine. 

“Ellie, baby girl,” said Joel. Ellie’s eyes slowly peeled open. Joel smiled at her and wiped his eyes. “God. I can’t believe it. You’re alive.” Ellie blinked slowly. “It’s me, baby girl. It’s Joel. It’s Daddy.” Ellie’s forehead creased. She let out a quiet moan. Tears dripped down her face as she stretched out her arm to touch his face. “You’ve grown so much, baby. You’re such a brave young woman.” Her fingers brushed across Joel’s face. Joel reached up and cupped her hand between his. He rubbed the back of it. 

“You’re not real…” said Ellie. 

“No. I’m really here,” said Joel. “The hospital found me. Oh, Ellie. I’m so sorry…”

“Suh-sorry,” said Ellie. “Missed you. Shouldn’t have run…” Joel shook his head.

“Listen here, none of this was your fault, Ellie,” he said. “Don’t you dare say anything like that.” Tears dripped down Ellie’s face. “Oh baby girl…” Dina looked away. She felt like she was intruding on a private moment. 

“I’ll give you guys some space,” said Dina. She walked up to the other side of Ellie’s bed.

“Hey, look at me,” she said gently. Ellie’s eyes opened up and drifted to Dina. Dina smiled at her. “I’m going to go, okay? I’ll see you later.” Ellie bit her lip.

“No…” She reached over and grabbed the hem of Dina’s shirt. “…Don’t wanna be alone…”

“Joel’s here with you, Ellie,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head. 

“Not real…” Dina looked over at Joel who had brought Ellie’s pale hand up to her face and kissed it softly. Ellie didn’t react. 

“Alright. I’ll stay. Don’t worry,” said Dina. Ellie nodded. She relaxed a little and closed her eyes. Dina rubbed Ellie’s hand and pried her fingers off of her shirt and squeezed it between her hands. Joel stared at her quietly. 

“Where’d she get the stuffed dinosaur?” asked Joel. 

“Me,” said Dina. “Well, the ER. They have stuffed animals in the ER for kids when they get scared.” Joel nodded. 

“Thank you for staying with her,” said Joel. “Thank you for doing this for her.” Dina shook her head. 

“Don’t. Ellie’s amazing,” said Dina. Joel sighed and shifted in his chair. 

“Am I allowed to stay with her overnight?” asked Joel.

“Once she’s moved out of the ICU,” said Dina. “She’s too ill right now. They’ll probably kick us out soon. They don’t want us spreading our germs to her.” Joel nodded. 

“What if she freaks out?” he asked. 

“There’s an area where parents of kids in the ICU can stay overnight,” said Dina. “I’ll show you where it is once they ask us to leave. But you do need an overnight vistors’ sticker to stay. You can get it at the reception desk before the entrance to the ICU. You need your ID.” Joel nodded.

“Thank you again,” he said. Dina shook her head.

“I haven’t known Ellie for very long, but she deserves the world,” said Dina. Joel smirked and nodded. 

“Yeah…” he said. She sniffled. “God, I missed my kid.” He let out a low sob.

The door opened and a nurse walked in. 

“Hello. How is everyone doing?” she asked. No one said anything. “Visiting hours are almost over. I’m going to take vitals, and then I’ll give her some medicine to help her sleep.” Ellie whined loudly. 

“Hey. It’s okay,” said Dina. She stepped back so the nurse can have access to her. Ellie cried when Dina’s hand slipped out of hers. “Oh hey, I’m right here.” Dina put her hand on Ellie’s thigh. Ellie’s entire leg jerked up and she cried. “Shit. I’m so sorry, Ellie.” The nurse typed up the numbers from the machines into the computer. “Shit. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean to touch you.” Ellie shook her head. The nurse injected something into her IV. 

“Relax,” said the nurse. Dina walked out and shut the door, sliding down the wall.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter because this is the only fic I'm motivated to write right now.

Dina sighed and rocked back and forth on the ball of her heels. She’d just finished her midterms and after nearly a week was finally free. Ellie needed some time to heal and some time with her…Joel? She knocked on the door.

She heard grumbling and shuffling.

“Come in,” said Joel. Dina walked into the door.

Ellie looked considerably better. She was still a little gray tinged, but her face looked like it was back to its normal color. She was sitting up with her legs up and a graphic novel, Savage Starlight, sitting on her lap. She no longer was connected to any oxygen. She had less wires and tubes sneaking under the blankets. 

She glanced up at Dina and gave her a small smile.

“Hey,” said Dina. 

“Hi,” said Ellie quietly. Joel looked up and grinned and shook his head.

“Hey, kid.” Dina walked in and stood by the bed. 

“Uh, sorry I haven’t been around…midterms…” said Dina. Ellie nodded and slipped a piece of paper in the book closing it. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” she mumbled. Joel looked between the two of them.

“You alright if I go stretch my legs, baby girl?” asked Joel. Ellie shrugged. Joel reached her knee and dropped his feet off her bed before stretching and walking out.

“Can I sit?” said Dina, pointing at the now empty chair. Ellie nodded. Dina looked over at the book.

“It was a comic series I liked when I was a kid,” said Ellie. “It’s the full collection.” Her voice sounded raspy and halting. Dina smiled encouragingly. 

“What’s it about?” Ellie sighed and coughed. 

“A space scientist…and aliens,” said Ellie. 

“Cool,” said Dina. Ellie bit her lip.

“My dad is here. You don’t have to keep coming back,” she said. 

“What if I want to come back?” said Dina. Ellie looked away from her. “Sorry. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just…I want to be friends.” Dina reached out a hand. “You look like you need one and honestly…I do too.” Ellie nodded. Her shoulders relaxed. 

“Okay,” she said. Dina smiled. Ellie exhaled. “I haven’t had a real friend in a while.”

“That’s okay. We can figure it out together,” she said. Ellie bit her lip. 

“I wanna take a shower?” said Ellie. Dina nodded. 

“Want me to get a nurse?” she said. Ellie nodded, as Dina pressed the call button. 

“I…I feel dirty…” said Ellie. 

“You’re not dirty,” said Dina, a bit too firmly. “I mean that, uh, yeah a shower will probably help you feel better, but you aren’t like….dirty.” Ellie snorted softly. Dina smiled at her small victory. Ellie reached over and squeezed her hand. She looked over at the window. 

“Do you want to go outside?” asked Dina. Ellie nodded slightly.

“I-I think…?” said Ellie. Dina nodded. 

“It’s okay not to know,” said Dina.

Mary walked in.

“Hi, girls,” she said. Dina smiled and nodded. 

“I wanna take a shower.” Mary sighed. 

“Right now, you’re not really okayed to take a shower,” said Mary. “I know it’s upsetting, but you’re still very weak. You haven’t been able to sit up on your own yet.” Ellie opened and closed her mouth. 

“But, um, but I…” 

“We can do a bed bath if you feel a little icky,” said Mary.

“No,” said Ellie icily. “I want to take a shower.” Mary sighed. 

“Ellie, dear,” Ellie flinched “Even if you could take a shower, someone would still have to help you.” Ellie shook her head.

“No…I just…” Ellie rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. Dina could almost see the gears in her brain freezing up. “I just…I thought I…I could…I wanna chose…” Ellie sounded like she was close to tears. “I don’t…he’s gone…I can…” Dina kneeled down next to her. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” said Dina. “You’re okay. You’re right. You are in charge here. But it’s Mary’s job to keep you from getting hurt again. She’s telling you this for your own good.” Ellie nodded ever so slightly. She met Dina’s eyes. 

“That’s what he said too,” said Ellie. Dina wanted nothing more than to hug her. 

“Ellie, can you trust me?” asked Dina. Ellie froze. “Can you at least try? I know it’s really hard for you, but please, I promise, you’re safe here.” Ellie nodded slowly. “We can compromise. You can clean off your face and, what, your armpits maybe? Whatever feels the most gross. Just to help you feel a little better. Is that okay?” Ellie nodded. Dina reached over and squeezed her hand.   
******************************************************************************  
Joel looked shocked when he came in to find Dina gently running a cloth up and down Ellie’s arms. 

“How are you feelin’, baby girl?” said Joel carefully. Ellie shrugged and closed her eyes.

“She was feeling a little gross,” said Dina. Ellie nodded. Joel nodded slowly. 

“Okay then,” he said. “Can I sit, Ellie? Or do you want me to leave?” Ellie shook her head. 

“You can stay,” said Ellie. Joel nodded and sat down. Dina finished wiping off of her armpits.

“Is there anything else?” asked Dina. Ellie shrugged. 

“No. Thanks,” said Ellie. Dina nodded and smiled. She pulled up Ellie’s blanket and switched Ellie’s hospital gown. “Thank you…” Dina smiled as Ellie reached over and grabbed Dina’s hand. Ellie closed her eyes. Joel smiled softly and pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of her peaceful face. Elli’s eyes snapped open. “Sorry, baby girl. I just wanted a picture of you. I can delete it if you want. I’m sorry I didn’t ask.” Ellie blinked slowly. She leaned forward to see the phone. Joel showed her the picture. 

“That’s what I look like?” she asked softly. Joel nodded encouragingly. Ellie ran her hand down her face. “I’m so skinny…” 

“Sorry,” said Joel. “I didn’t mean to make you feel self-conscious.” Ellie stared at herself. She looked over at Dina. 

“You okay?” asked Dina. Ellie nodded. “Hey. Look at me.” Ellie looked up from the phone. “You’ve been through a lot, and I’m sure you don’t feel great about yourself right now but…you’re beautiful, Ellie.” Ellie sniffled.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally another chapter. Lemme know what you think! Thanks!

Ellie stared at the applesauce in front of her. She looked over at Dina and wrinkled her nose.

 

“It’s just applesauce,” said Dina. “You can do it. Just a couple bites.” Ellie opened and closed her mouth.

 

“I don’t want it…” said Ellie. Dina sighed and squeezed Ellie’s arm.

 

“Hey, c’mon…just a little food,” said Dina. Ellie sniffled and rubbed her nose.

 

“He’d starve me…” said Ellie. “And he wouldn’t give me water. He’d tell me to drink my on piss…sometimes he’d put drugs in my food do I wouldn’t fight with him…” Dina bit her lip.

 

“You saw me open this. It was sealed,” said Dina. “No one tampered with it. I promise.” Ellie bit her cheek. She nodded.

 

“Okay,” she said. Dina handed her the spoon. She scooped up the applesauce. She managed two bites before she dropped the spoon and shook her head. “I can’t…I’m going to get sick.” Dina nodded.

 

“Okay. We’ll save it for later. You did a good job. I’m really proud,” said Dina. She moved the cup away from her. Ellie still looked mildly nauseous. “Hey, Ellie. Deep breaths…you’re done eating…” Ellie looked a little green around the edges. “Do you want some water? Will some water make it better?” Ellie shrugged. She rubbed her face and curled up, pulling her knees to her chest. “Here…” Dina reached for the remote and flicked on the TV. “Let’s watch something relaxing.” She turned on some generic cartoon show. Dina reached out. “Can I rub your belly? Would that help?” Ellie shook her head and buried her face into her knees.

 

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Just as Dina thought they were out of the woods, Ellie leaned forward and threw up. She sniffled and stared at the vomit on the desk. Dina pressed the call button and moved the table back. She wiped off Ellie’s mouth with a tissue.

 

“You did a good job,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head. “Hey, this is the first time you’ve had some solid food in a while. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. You’re doing really well.” Ellie sniffled.

 

“No…I just—” Ellie leaned over and gagged. Dina stuck a basin under her mouth. Ellie gagged and spit, dry heaving over the basin. Dina grimaced.

 

“Oh, Ellie…” Said Dina. “Hey, deep breaths.” Ellie shook her head.

 

“Hurts!” Ellie whined. Ellie wrapped her hand around Dina’s shirt. She hiccupped and sniffled over and over.

 

“Ellie, hey,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head.

 

“Cuh-can’t breathe!” Ellie sobbed.

 

“Ellie…” said Dina. “You’re having a panic attack. I know that it’s scary, but you’ll be okay. Breathe.” Ellie kept sniffling and gasping. She looked like a vacuum cleaner that was flipped on and off. “Can I touch you?” Ellie nodded.

 

Dina gently scooped Ellie up from the armchair and put her on the lap. Ellie pressed her face into Dina’s shoulder.

 

“God, why am I…why am I like this?” she said between breaths. “Ev-everything is fuh-fine.”

 

“Ellie, you’re allowed to feel scared. Some messed up shit happened to you,” said Dina.

 

“It’s juh-just…I just…” Ellie kicked the arm of the chair and let out a cry.

 

“Hey, don’t, don’t do that,” said Dina. “Deep breath, okay?” Dina rubbed Ellie’s chest.

 

“Ow…”

 

“Okay, sorry,” said Dina. Ellie squeezed her eyes shut and pushed her head into Dina’s shoulder. “Can I rub your back?” Ellie nodded. Dina rubbed small circles on Ellie’s back and started humming softly.

 

The nurse walked in.

 

“What’s the matter?” she asked. Dina nodded to the throw up. “Ah.” The nurse disappeared back out again.           

 

“S-sorry,” said Ellie.

 

“Hey, it’s fine,” said Dina. “Just take it easy.” Ellie nodded.

 

“Can I get back to bed?” she asked.

 

“Sure.” Dina helped her transfer herself to the bed. “Good.” She handed Ellie her dino and tucked the sheets around her. “Good…” She ran a hand through Ellie’s hair. “Take it easy.”

 

The nurse came back in to clean up the mess.

 

“Everything handled?” she whispered. Dina nodded. She reached over and gently wiped of Ellie’s face with a wet cloth.

 

“I’m sorry,” said Ellie. She rubbed her nose along the back of her arm. “I don’t know why I’m like this.” Dina shook her head.

 

“Don’t apologize,” said Dina. She continued rubbing her back. “Things are hard.” Ellie nodded.

 

“I can’t eat…” muttered Ellie. Dina nodded.

 

“Okay. It’s okay.” Dina glanced over at the nurse who nodded. “She wasn’t able to eat anything.” The nurse nodded.

 

“I’ll let the doctor know,” she said. “Do you want some medicine for nausea?” Ellie shrugged.

 

“Do you still feel sick?” asked Dina. Ellie shrugged again. She leaned back and closed her eyes, gritting her teeth.

 

“I can just give you a patch. It might make you a little sleepy…” Ellie nodded and the nurse left to get it.

 

“I’m sorry you don’t feel well,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head and pushed her face into the pillow.

 

“I just wanna sleep…” said Ellie. Dina nodded.

 

The door opened. Ellie’s face fell.

 

“Hi,” said the doctor. “I need to check your genital injuries.” Ellie blinked and looked like she was about to cry. The nurse walked over and started talking to the doctor. Dina reached out to touch Ellie. She flinched back.

 

“Sorry,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head and bit the inside of her cheek.

 

“It’s a lot,” said Ellie quietly. Dina nodded.

 

“I know. I’m so sorry,” said Dina. “Do you want me to get Joel?” Ellie shook her head.

 

“Want Joel…don’t leave. Please,” said Ellie. Dina nodded. She got up and walked over to the nurse and doctor.

 

“Ellie is not up for whatever exam you need to do,” hissed Dina. The doctor nodded.

 

“I realize that,” she said. “Ellie needs to be checked today. I can wait a few hours for her to take a nap. See if she feels a little better…” Dina nodded.

 

“And she really wants Joel…” The nurse nodded.

 

“I’ll call him,” she said. They both walked out. Dina sat back down next to Ellie. Dina offered her hand and Ellie reached out for it. Dina squeezed her hand.

 

“It’s okay, Ellie,” she said. “You’re okay. Just sleep.” Ellie nodded slowly and closed her eyes.   


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst time!!! Let me know what you think!!

Nothing felt more terrifying for Dina then watching Ellie get examined again. She stared up at the ceiling blankly. One hand was weakly held in Dina’s, the other in Joel’s. It seemed like she had left her body.  She was empty.

 

“Small pinch,” warned the doctor from the chair between her legs. Ellie didn’t react. “Good. Good job. Almost done.” Joel ran a handover the top of Ellie’s hair.

 

“I love you, baby girl,” said Joel. Ellie, again, did not react. The doctor finished up and peeled off her gloves. Ellie flinched.

 

“You’re all done,” she said. She scooted back, and the nurse lowered Ellie’s legs. “And I heard, you wanted a shower, so I’m clearing you for that. The nurse needs to help you, but whenever you’re ready, just let her know.” The doctor looked up at Joel, and her nodded. She patted Ellie’s knee. “You did a really good job.” She beckoned Joel to follow her out.

 

“I’ll be right back, baby girl,” he said. He kissed her forehead. The nurse walked over and started messing with Ellie’s IV. She injected something into it. Dina squeezed Ellie’s hand. Ellie blinked slowly.

 

“Dina…” Ellie mumbled. Dina smiled at her gently. The nurse walked out. She heard Joel and the doctor talking softly as the door swung open.

 

“How are you feeling?” she asked. Ellie looked around and shifted herself up in bed. She hissed.

 

“Ow,” she said quietly. Ellie squeezed her eyes shut and leaned her head back.

 

“What hurts?” asked Dina.

 

“Back…” said Ellie.

 

“It is fractured,” said Dina. Ellie raised an eyebrow. “Sorry. I’m just making a joke.” Ellie snorted.

 

“Shitty joke,” she said. Ellie smirked.

  
“Oh. Okay,” said Dina. “Damn. I see how it is.” Ellie actually smiled. It was small and lazy, but it was real. “Do you wanna shower? The doctor said you could.” Ellie shrugged.

 

“Not right now,” said Ellie. She closed her eyes.

 

“Can I touch you?” asked Dina. Ellie nodded. Dina reached over and ran a hand through her hair. Ellie’s head tilted towards Dina’s hand. Joel walked back in.

 

“Can you get Ellie an ice pack? Her back hurts,” said Dina. Joel nodded.

 

“Can I leave, baby girl? I’ll be right back,” he said. Ellie nodded and closed her eyes. Dina continued brushing her fingers through Dina’s hair. It was thin and dry, and honestly, she hoped that Ellie would take a shower soon, so she could put some conditioner in her hair. Ellie looked a little sick and greasy still. She day dreamed about bringing Ellie some fancy soaps. Something to make her feels better about herself.

 

“Thank you…” whispered Ellie.

 

“Hm?” said Dina. Ellie opened her eyes.

 

“Thank you for…being here…” said Ellie. Dina smiled.

 

“No where else I’d rather be,” she said. Ellie’s eyes watered. Her hand shakily went up and touched Dina’s face. Dina smiled softly and kissed the palm of Ellie’s hand. “Don’t cry, baby. You’re okay.” Dina cupped Ellie’s hand on her face with her free hand. Ellie tried to rub her face. “Hey, no, shh…” Dina grabbed Ellie’s hands and wiped of the tears herself. Dina pressed her forehead to Ellie’s. “You are so brave.” Ellie hiccupped and squeezed her eyes shut.

 

Joel cleared his throat. Dina squeezed Ellie’s hand and leaned back.

 

“I got the ice,” he said gently. Joel walked over. “Can I…?” Ellie nodded. He pulled her forward and pushed the pillow against her back. He gently laid her back down. Ellie’s head drooped back. Ellie reached down and fumbled with the blanket. Dina reached down and pulled the corners up.

 

“Thanks…” Ellie slurred. Dina rubbed Ellie’s cheek. Ellie closed her eyes and turned her head to the side and sniffled. Joel and Dina watched as Ellie mumbled and let out a soft sigh. Her chest rose up and down and got slower and slower. Joel smiled and rubbed his face.

 

“You made her smile,” he said, looking over at Dina. He cleared his throat. “Sorry, I just…I’m so happy she can be happy again.”

 

“She deserves it,” said Dina. Dina squeezed Ellie’s hand.

****************************************************************************

Dina walked in the next day with a plastic bag. The door to the bathroom was open, and Joel stood in front of it.

 

“Is she…?” asked Dina. Joel nodded.

 

“Yeah. She’s in the shower,” said Joel. Dina held up the bag.

 

“I brought her some fancy soaps…?” Joel cracked a grin. He took the bag from her hands.

 

“Ellie, Dina brought you some nice soaps,” he said, shouting into the bathroom. Dina watched as someone who she assumed to be a nurse grabbed the bag.

 

“It might be a while,” said Joel. He gestured to a chair. Dina sat in it and pulled out her phone. She scrolled through it mindlessly. She heard a high pitched moan. Dina jumped up. Joel looked up at her and shook her head.

 

“Don’t,” he said softly. “You’ll embarrass her.”

 

“Ow, ow, stop!” said Ellie. Joel stood up and turned his head into the bathroom. The nurse mumbled something Dina couldn’t make out over the water.

 

“Ellie?” asked Joel.

 

“’M fine,” said Ellie. Joel nodded.

 

“I’m right here if you need me, baby girl,” he said. Ellie mumbled a noise of affirmation. Joel turned to Dina. “This has been happening every few minutes. I’m not sure how ready for visitors she’s going to be.” Dina nodded.

 

“I can come back later,” she said.

 

“Let’s wait,” he said. “See what she has to say.” Dina nodded.

 

Dina kept glancing at the door until the nurse pushed Ellie back in. Ellie was in a pair of grey sweats and an oversized blue shirt with the hospital logo. Her hair fell down in wet locks around her shoulders.

 

“Hey,” said Dina. “You look good.” Ellie cracked something that might have been a smile.

 

“Thanks,” she said. The nurse helped her into bed and started hooking Ellie back up to the monitors. She fluffed the pillows behind Ellie.

 

“You feel better?” asked Dina. Ellie nodded.

 

“I’m not sticky anymore,” she said. Dina chuckled. The tips of Ellie’s ears went red.

 

“Want me to do your hair?” Dina said. “I have some leave-in conditioner.” Ellie bit her lip. “I can put a little in, and if you don’t like it…I can stop.” Ellie nodded.

 

The nurse finished propping her up with pillows. Dina grabbed a towel and tucked it into the collar of Ellie’s shirt. She reached for the bottle and stepped behind her, massaging the conditioner into her hair.

 

“Is this okay?” asked Dina. Ellie nodded slightly. “Good…” Ellie’s hair was dry and brittle from malnourishment and God knows how long of not washing. “Lean your head forward for me…good.” Dina smiled to herself.

 

She could see Joel watched them from a small distance away. He wiped at his watery eyes.

 

The door opened again.

 

“Hi, Ellie,” said a nurse. “So we’re going to try some more food today…” Ellie froze. Dina finished with her hair and wiped her hands on her pants.

 

“I don’t wanna eat,” said Ellie quietly. The nurse nodded.

 

“Want to try some 7Up or some ginger ale?” asked the nurse.

 

“No,” said Ellie. “It hurts.” The nurse looked at Joel. The nurse sighed.

 

“Ellie, we want you to try one more time. If you still can’t keep anything other than water down, we’re going to have to check your belly.” Ellie looked more terrified.

 

“No,” she whined. “Please. I don’t want to…My stomach hurts…” The nurse cocked her head.

 

“Has your stomach been hurting all of this time?” she asked softly. Ellie nodded. The nurse bit her lip sympathetically. “What kind of pain is it? It shouldn’t be hurting that bad.” Ellie opened and closed her mouth.

 

“Nuh-nothing,” said Ellie. “I don’t…” She looked around at everyone. “Please…”

 

“I’m going to go talk to your doctor,” said the nurse. “Don’t worry. We’ll help you feel better.” Ellie’s shoulders tense as she closed her eyes and nodded. Dina leaned down behind her.

 

“What’s wrong?” said Dina. Ellie shook her head. “Okay…okay.” The nurse left. Ellie still looked on edge.

 

“Ellie…” Ellie shook her head.

 

“No! I just want to be left alone. Please!” Tears dripped down her face. Dina reached for them. Ellie flinched back violently. “Will you fuck off? I don’t want…” Ellie let out a sob. Dina got up and stepped back.

 

“Hey, hey,” said Joel. “You can go home, Dina. I think Ellie needs some time to cool down…”

 

“Don’t talk about me like I’m a child! I’m not a child! I was never able to—” The words seemed to die in her throat.

 

“Okay,” said Joel. “I’m so sorry. I know it’s been hard.”  


“You don’t—” Ellie took a weird breath. Dina could feel her heart break.

 

“Oh, Ellie…”  


“Just go!” she sobbed. “Please…”


	10. Interlude-Ellie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write a chapter from Ellie's point of view so I did. I regular update coming up in the next week or so. 
> 
> Hope you like it!
> 
> (TRIGGER WARNING: You see implications of Ellie being forced to have oral sex. She also gets beaten.)

Ellie didn’t want it. She wasn’t entirely sure what the endoscopy entailed, but she didn’t want to be sedated, she didn’t want a tube down her throat, and mostly importantly, she didn’t want to wake up confused and terrified. 

“Baby girl,” said Joel. “I want you take a nice deep breath.”

“I don’t want to do this,” said Ellie. Joel nodded. 

“I know. I know,” he said. “But you need to do this. We have to check to make sure you’re doing okay.” Ellie shook her head. 

“I’m fine…please!” Ellie gasped. Joel shook her head. He nodded at someone over her shoulder. Ellie tired to turn over. 

“Juh-joel,” she whined. The nurse injected something into her IV line. “No…” Ellie closed her eyes as tears leaked out.

“Hey…shh…” said Joel. He rubbed her cheek and sniffled. “I’m so sorry. Please just relax. It won’t hurt. I’ll be here when you wake up.” Ellie let out a soft moan. 

“Open up, please,” said the nurse softly. Ellie sniffled and snot rolled down her face. Joel reached over and wiped her nose off. The nurse used a tongue depressor the hold down her tongue as she sprayed the numbing agent down the back of her throat. Things started feeling more distant. She reached out and grabbed Joel’s sleeve. Joel patted her head.

“You’ll be okay, Ellie,” said Joel. “There’s nothing to be scared of. You’re safe.” Ellie would like to beg to differ. She would like to point out that she had been kidnapped, starved, and brutalized for years and her traumatized, drug addled brain couldn’t really determine when she was safe or when she was in danger. And being forced to get a procedure against her will wasn’t really helping. 

Joel sat next to her, holding her hand until things started fading out. She couldn’t move but a small part of her brain was still sort of aware of what’s going on. 

“Alright. Give her a kiss,” said the nurse. She felt the scruff of Joel’s beard rub against her forehead. 

“I’ll be here when you get out. I love you,” he said. Ellie tried to make a noise or move anything. She couldn’t.

She felt the gurney move under her. The sounds of the hospital seemed to pound against her ears. Eventually, she was brought somewhere quieter. She was lifted up and rolled onto another surface. She panicked as she felt her gown being pulled down. There was pressure as something was stuck to her chest and arms. There was a clip put on her finger and a blood pressure cuff on her arm. 

And she was on her side. Something was wedged in her mouth. And something snaked down her throat.

Ellie was on the ground. The cement floor scraped up her arms. 

“David, please!” said Ellie. 

“Don’t please me! Don’t act like this wasn’t your fault! I saw you giving Riley food. You whore! You aren’t allowed to share. I give you exactly as much food you need. How dare you defy me?” Ellie was on the ground trembling. David kicked her in the stomach. 

“I bet you’re hungry now, yeah?” said David, pulling down his zipper. “Open up…”  
*******************************************************************************  
Ellie’s throat hurt. Drool dripped from the side of her mouth. She was going to open her eyes and see the walls of her prison. Ellie let out a shudder. 

“Hey there, baby girl,” said a voice. Joel? “I’m sorry that I made you do this. I know you didn’t want to. I was just so worried…” She felt a hand squeezed hers. “The doctors were telling me about all the bad things that could happen if…” He sighed. “I should have listened for you. I should have been more gentle at least…I talked to Cara…We’re going to talk once you feel better. We have a lot to talk about…” 

Ellie leaned forward and coughed, bile running down her chin. Ellie moaned and heaved. 

“Okay, Ellie. Easy…” said Joel. He wiped off Ellie’s mouth. Ellie jerked her head back. “Open your eyes…it’s Joel. It’s dad.” Ellie blinked.

Joel loomed over her, a wet cloth in his hand. He smiled at her.

“There’s your beautiful eyes,” he said. Ellie shook her head. 

“Leave,” she croaked. Her hands went up to grab her sore throat. “Please. I-I didn’t want it.” Ellie sniffled. “I didn’t want it.” A sob burst and bubbled from her chest. She rolled onto her side. Her body ached. All she could see was David’s hands on her face. Riley’s body. All her bad thoughts tangled up ad squeezed her chest. Ellie screamed. 

“I want Dina!” she yelled. She didn’t know why she wanted Dina so badly, but she did. She wanted Dina’s steady, warm hands to hold her and clean her off. She wanted Dina’s strong, nimble fingers to run through her hand. “Dina! Dina…Dina…Dina…Dina…” 

She heard Joel get up and pull his phone out. The room swam in front of Ellie’s eyes. She squeezed them shut and vomited again. She wanted Joel, but Joel made her feel bad. He didn’t listen to her. 

Time moved weird. Some time must have passed, but it didn’t feel like it. Dina was there. It sounded like she was saying something, but Ellie couldn’t hear her. 

Dina reached over and wiped off Ellie’s face. She switched out the dirty blanket. Dina wiped off Ellie’s face and neck, shushing her. She mumbled sweet nothings to her and somehow ended up in bed with her, rubbing small circles on her back. 

“Breath…” said Dina. “Breath in and out, okay? You’re doing really well…” Ellie sucked in another breath. 

“Sorry,” said Ellie. 

“Don’t apologize. You’re fine,” said Dina. Ellie buried her face into her shoulder. Dina kissed her forehead. “Easy, love. Easy….I got you…I got you…”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chap!! Sorry it's a little short. This just felt like the most natural place to end it.
> 
> Lemme know what you think!!!

“Dina! If you want to use the car, you have to take me to work, love. Now!” Dina groaned and rolled over. She glanced at her phone. 

“Fuck!” It was nearly 8. She rolled out of her bed and scrambled to her feet. She grabbed her pants and changed clothes. She washed her face and brushed her teeth and dashed out of her room, grabbing her backpack. 

“Sorry, Mom,” said Dina. “I’ll take you to work.” Her mom nodded. 

“Are you going to go to class today or are you going to visit that girl in the hospital again?” shed asked. Dina sighed as she got into the driver’s seat of the car. 

“Mom…” 

“You have to go to class,” she said. “I’m not paying for you to babysit some injured girl. You have to get good grades to get a good job.” Dina sighed and focused on the road. 

“Yeah…well this is part of my job,” said Dina. 

“Not yet,” said her mom. Dina sighed and drove in front of the building. Her mom got out. “I’m paying for you to get a degree. Not fool around with some girl.” Dina nodded.

“Yeah, Mom,” said Dina. The door shut and she drove off.   
*********************************************************************************  
Dina was trying to pay attention in class, but Ellie’s endoscopy was burning in her mind. She looked at her phone. 

“No phones in class, please,” said her professor. Dina’s head popped up.

“Sorry,” said Dina. Her professor nodded and continued his lecture. Dina doodled at the edged of the page, taking notes every few sentences. When class ended she walked up to her professor. 

“I’m sorry,” said Dina. “One of my, um, friends…she’s in the hospital. I was just checking to see if her…dad texted me.” The professor nodded. 

“Ah. I understand. If you had let me know before class, I would’ve been more sympathetic.” Dina nodded. She felt her phone vibrate. 

“That’s her dad now,” she said. “Sorry.” 

“Go.” She nodded and ran out.   
*********************************************************************************  
Ellie was laying in the bed. Her eyes fluttered. Joel smiled, relieved when he saw Dina. He got up.

“Hey there,” said Dina. She walked over and sat down in the chair. 

“I’ll be outside,” he said to Dina. She nodded. Dina sat don next to her and wiped her face with a wet cloth. Ellie moaned.

“Just me,” said Dina. Ellie shuttered again. “Hey, it’s okay. I know you feel bad, I know…” Dina spooned ice chips into Ellie’s mouth. “There you go. Good girl.” A little bit of water dripped out of the side of her mouth. Dina wiped off Ellie’s mouth. “Your lips look a little chapped. Can I…?” Ellie opened her eyes and narrowed them. Her pupils were blown. Dina sighed. “Here.” Dina grabbed a chap stick from the night table and applied it. “Better, love?” 

Ellie leaned forward and vomited. She fell back. Ellie blinked slowly. She grabbed a blanket from the closet and switched out the dirty blanket. Dina wiped off Ellie’s face and neck, shushing her. She mumbled sweet nothings to her, as Ellie’s breathing god faster and faster.

“Hey, hey, shh…deep breaths…” Dina bit her lip and crawled up in bed with her, rubbing small circles on her back. 

“Breath…” said Dina. “Breath in and out, okay? You’re doing really well…” Ellie sucked in another breath. 

“Sorry,” said Ellie. 

“Don’t apologize. You’re fine,” said Dina. Ellie buried her face into her shoulder. Dina kissed her forehead. “Easy, love. Easy…I got you…I got you…”

“Hurts…” whined Ellie. 

“Oh…I know. I know,” said Dina. Ellie hiccupped.

“I didn’t—it hurt—he hurt and then—I didn’t…I didn’t want it,” Ellie sputtered. 

“Hey, hey, okay,” said Dina. “You’re in the hospital, in Wyoming. I’m here. Joel is here. No one will hurt you.” Ellie shook her head. “Alright, alright.”

About then was when Dina realized that she had never been this close to Ellie. She felt so small in her arms. And cold. Ellie’s breath was warm on Dina’s neck.

“Don’t wanna be here,” mumbled Ellie. 

“I bet,” said Dina. “I’m sorry. I know this is stressful. You’re doing so well.” Ellie sniffled.

“I don’t wanna be here, but I don’t know where I wanna be…” said Ellie. Dina shushed her. 

“Hey, I know. I know it’s scary. I know you don’t where you wanna go. I know you don’t know where you belong, but it’s okay. We got you. You are free now. You can discover yourself. And we’ll be there to help you.” Ellie sniffled.

“Why are you so nice to me?” asked Ellie. Dina smiled. 

“Because you deserve it,” said Dina. “Because you’re worthy of love.” Ellie opened and closed her mouth. Tears welled up in her eyes. She pushed her face harder into Dina’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” said Ellie. She sniffled. “God, I’m sorry—”

“Don’t apologize,” said Dina. “You are so brave, and you are doing so well.” Ellie cracked a small smile.

“Stop being so nice to me,” said Ellie. Dina shook her head and kissed the top of Ellie’s head. 

“Never.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a new chap! Lemme know what you think!!!

“You know the pain pump is there so you can use it, right?” Dina glanced at Ellie over her notebook. Ellie blinked slowly and fidgeted. Dina put down her book. “What’s wrong?”

“Did I ever talk to the police?” asked Ellie. She pushed herself part way up before Dina glares at her, and she fell back.

“Not extensively. Is that what got you so jittery?” said Dina. Ellie shrugged. Dina leaned over and propped her head on the bed. “Talk to me.” 

“I…” said Ellie. Ellie swallowed. “I think I wanna give my statement.” Dina nodded.

“Okay. I can talk to Cara and arrange that,” said Dina. Ellie nodded. “You can have whoever you want sit with you. Or we can get you, like, a…what’s-it-called service dog…comfort animal?” Dina snapped. “Emotional support animal! There we go.” Ellie snorted. 

“That might be nice,” said Ellie. Dina nodded. 

“I would recommend it,” said Dina. “It’ll keep you bp low.” Ellie smirked and nodded. She shifted again. Dina sighed. ‘’Okay…No…” Dina grabbed a pillow. “C’mon, lemme sit you forward.”

“I’m fine,” muttered Ellie.

“Mmhh,” said Dina. She moved her hand to hover over Ellie’s shoulder. Ellie rolled her eyes and nodded. Dina gently pulled her forward and wedged a pillow at her lower back. “Better?” Ellie nodded. Dina sat back and propped her feet up on the bed next to Ellie’s. Dina went back to her textbook.

“Have you talked to Joel about the endoscopy?” said Dina, with a forced casualness. Ellie nodded slowly. “Cara help you?” Ellie nodded again. “I’m glad.” Dina squeezed Ellie’s hand. Ellie rubbed her nose. 

“It was really…I was really…” stuttered Ellie. Dina squeezed her hand again. “Afraid…And, um, and Joel feels bad that he did it without my permission and um, and yeah…” Dina smiled at her encouragingly. “It feels weird to feel like I can talk to people instead of…” Ellie shook her head and rubbed her eyes. 

“Hey.” Ellie looked over at her. “I’m really glad you can talk to me like this.” Ellie smiled stiffly. “And…do you wanna try eating something again? I have an idea.” Ellie shrugged. Dina pulled something from her cooler. 

“Freezie pop,” said Dina. “I mean, it’s basically ice.” Ellie cocked her head. “Do you like blue or red? I feel like no one actually likes purple.” Ellie grinned. 

“Blue.” Dina ripped of the top and handed it to her. She raised the head of her bed. 

“Go slow, okay?” said Dina. Ellie sucked on the plastic tube. She swallowed the ice slowly. 

“Good?” asked Dina. Ellie nodded. “After this, if you want, you can take a nap, and then maybe, if you want, we can go to the play area/common room. They have some game consoles if you’re into that. We can play “Smash Bros…” “Mario Kart…” whatever’s there…” Ellie shrugged. “Too many choices?” Ellie nodded. “I can suggest a game when we go.” Ellie relaxed a little and nodded. “It shouldn’t be too busy. If it is we can…well I can wheel you around. If that sounds good?” Ellie nodded and out the now empty wrapper on the table. 

“Done?” said Dina. Ellie nodded. “Good job.” Ellie rubbed her nose again. “Is your belly settling?” Ellie nodded again. “Are you comfy trying to nap like that, because you should stay sitting up for a little bit.” Ellie nodded. She pulled the blanket up over her shoulders. Dina raised the volume of the sopping channel and looked back at her. Ellie’s breathing was already leveling out. 

The door opened, and Dina leaned forward prepared to get up and shoo them out. But it was just…

“Hey there…she asleep?”

“Yeah, Joel,” said Dina. “I got her to eat a freezie pop.” Joel raised his eyebrows. 

“Wow…” He looked at the package and shook his head. “Goddamn has she imprinted on you…” Dina smiled sheepishly. 

“Yeah…something like that.” Dina wiped Ellie’s bangs from her face. 

“Thank you.” Joel’s voice was hoarse. There were tears in his eyes. She shook her head. 

“Don’t mention it,” she said. 

“This isn’t just a job for you anymore, is it?” he asked. Dina bit her lip and shook her head. “Ellie has that effect on people.” Joel sighed and sat on the fold out couch. 

“She was the angriest nine-year-old I’d ever met,” said Joel. “The first time I met her, she kicked me in the shins.” Dina looked over at the sleeping girl. “Her birth parents abandoned her when she was really young. She bounced around for years. Ended up with her mom’s old friend…She had a bunch of other kids she was fostering and…” Joel shook his head. “She was a little feral…” Joel chuckled. “Well, is…” 

Ellie rolled on her side and groaned softly. Dina turned around and moved back the blanket. She lifted up ankle and tucked the pillow from where it slipped out from between her knees. Dina pulled the blanket back up. Ellie brushed her nose up against Dina’s hand and smiled softly. Dina sat back.

“Thank you,” said Joel again. 

“Quit thanking me,” hissed Dina. 

“You’re a good kid.”

“Hardly.” 

“You’re a stubborn kid.”

“Better.” 

“Could you guys be quieter?” rasped Ellie. 

“Sorry, baby girl,” said Joel. Ellie sighed. The door opened. 

“Fuck,” whined Ellie.

“Hi,” said a nurse. “Time for your vitals.” Ellie shook her head. The nurse logged into the computer She looked at the machines and scanned Ellie’s ID bracelet, before starting to type in her vitals. Ellie bit her cheek and grimaced. “Have you tried eating?” Ellie nodded. 

“She had a freezie pop,” Dina supplied. The nurse smiled. 

“Wow. What a good job!” she said. Ellie made a small noise of dismissal. Dina tapped her shoulder. 

“Hey,” she said quietly. Ellie grimaced and nodded.

“Sorry,” said Ellie. The nurse smiled at them encouragingly. 

“That’s alright, dear,” she said. “Can you lay back?” Ellie looked over at Dina. 

“Want me to leave?” Ellie shook her head and reached out her hand. Dina grabbed it and gave it a small squeeze. The nurse lowered the bed. 

“Relax for me,” she said. She gently pressed her stomach. Ellie tensed. “Easy.” 

“Fuck. It hurts!” said Ellie. “Ow!” Ellie pulled away. The nurse lifted her hands up. 

“Take it easy. You’re okay,” said the nurse. Ellie shook her head and rolled over, protecting her belly. The nurse put her stethoscope to Ellie’s belly. Ellie shivered. “Things sound good. We can try eating some more tomorrow.” Ellie nodded. The nurse walked out. 

“You doin’ okay, baby girl?” said Joel. Ellie shrugged. She had paled a little bit. Ellie nodded and leaned back closing her eyes. Joel reached over and stroked her face until the frown receded and her breathing evened out. Joel shook his head and looked and Dina.

“What are we goinna do with her, Dina?”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another new chapter!! Tell me what you think! Thanks!!!

Ellie rolled the putty between her fingers. She looked back and forth around the room. Dina gave her a soft smile and squeezed her hand. 

“Hey…you’re brave,” she said. Ellie snorted and nodded. “Don’t give me that. You’re a survivor or whatever.” 

“Yeah. Or whatever,” said Ellie. Dina rolled her eyes. 

“God, you really don’t know how to take a complement,” she said. Ellie shrugged. “Are you sure you’re okay to do this?” Ellie nodded. 

Joel walked in. 

“Alright, do you want to meet the dog?” said Joel, clapping his hands together and exhaling. Ellie nodded. A woman in a police polo walked in with a large friendly dog. The dog walked over and put its paws on the edge of Ellie’s bed. Ellie stared at it in awe. 

“His name is Max,” said the lady. Ellie nodded slowly. 

“He’s pretty,” mumbled Ellie. She held out her hand. Max, the dog, sniffed it. Ellie started petting the dog and grinned. “Soft boy. Good boy.” Joel grinned and shook his head. 

“Alright,” said Joel. “The officers who are interviewing you are on their way up.” Ellie nodded and squished Max’s face gently. 

There was another knock on the door. Ellie tensed and didn’t look up. 

“Hi, Ellie. It’s Cara,” she said. Ellie nodded. Cara walked back over and knelt down at the end of the bed. “I know that there’s a lot of people in here, and it’s a little overwhelming, but I want to ask you who you want with you when you get interviewed.” Ellie nodded and rubbed her face. 

“I don’t want anyone,” she said quietly. 

“No Joel, Dina, or myself?” Ellie nodded. “Just the police and Max?” Ellie nodded again. “Okay. I’ll be around if you want to talk afterwards.” Ellie nodded a third time. Cara walked out.

“Can the dog get on my bed?” asked Ellie. The handler nodded. She pulled back some tubes and wires attached to Ellie.

“Max, up,” she said. She dog crawled onto the bed next to Ellie. Ellie pressed her face into the dog’s fur. Dina bit her lip and smiled.

There was a knock on the door. Dina stepped back and watched police officers come in.

“Ready?” asked Dina. Ellie nodded. She seemed to hesitate before flinging herself at Dina. Dina wrapped her arms around Ellie’s shoulders. 

“Thank you.” Dina smiled and rubbed her nose through the top of Ellie’s head. 

“I’ll be outside if you need me,” said Dina. Ellie nodded. Dina squeezed her shoulders and let go, walking out of the room to give Joel and Ellie a moment. 

Joel walked out and shut the door behind him. 

“There’s a waiting room…” Dina pointed. Joel sniffled and nodded. He followed Dina’s lead down the hall. 

“Thank you for everything,” said Joel. Dina nodded. 

“It’s fine. I want to be here,” she said. “Ellie’s special.” Joel chuckled. 

“Sure is.” They sat down next to each other. Joel glanced up at the TV and sighed. 

“I had a meeting with Ellie’s…what’s-it-called…care team…whatever…” he began. Dina nodded. “And they say Ellie’s doin’ really well…like way better than she has any right to…” Joel smirked and shook his head. “They think she should be released from the hospital soon, but they don’t think she’s ready to go home…” He glanced at his phone. “They want me to look at holistic rehab centers. They’ve been giving me some suggestions but…Ellie’s probably not going to like it.” Dina nodded again and shifted in her seat.

“They’re right, you know? Ellie can’t just…go back to living her life. She grew up…imprisoned. She needs to learn to adjust to her freedom and make decisions. She’s going to have social…problems at the very least. Probably anxiety. And she has to get her strength back. Learn to eat normally.” Joel sighed and nodded. “She needs to be eased back into the real world. You don’t want to overwhelm her.” Joel nodded. 

“I know you’re right…I just want her home,” he said. “I got my brother to take some of her stuff out of storage. She needs new clothes, and my sister-in-law said she’d try and get some stuff for her…Everyone’s happy to have her back. Hell, I’ve been trying to get ahold of my ex-partner…” 

“You should ask Ellie if she wants to see them,” said Dina. “It might be nice.” Joel nodded and rubbed his beard. 

“Her cousin was born while she was gone…He’s four. He’s never met her,” he said. 

“Okay, maybe don’t bring him in,” said Dina. Joel nodded. 

“I’m surprised she hasn’t asked about Tess,” said Joel. “Last she knew, we were living together…” Joel shook his head. “Sorry. I’m just…”

“Hey. You’re okay,” said Dina. “This is, this is hard.” Joel closed his eyes and let a deep breath out. 

“I know you got your own life, but, uh, I was wondering if you could come in earlier tomorrow. I was going to go look at some of the rehab centers and see what looks like a right fit for Ellie.” Dina nodded. 

“Of course.”

“I know it’s going to be hard for her tomorrow but that’s the only day I could get a tour appointment for one of them.” Dina nodded.

They stared up at the TV again. 

“You have a job?” asked Joel. 

“I’m a tutor.” Joel nodded. 

“Ellie needs to finish high school…” said Joel.

“I can help her with that,” said Dina. Joel shook his head. 

“No, no, that’s not what I meant. It’s just…there’s so much shit Ellie needs right now…” Dina squeezed Joel’s hand. “You’re a good kid.” 

The nurse walked down the hall. Joel and Dina shot up.

“Ellie’s done with the police. You can go see her now,” she said. Dina all but sprinted down the hall. She slowed down and opened the door. 

Ellie was on her side, facing the dog, running her fingers through its fur and rubbed her nose on the sleeve of her gown. 

“Hey…” Ellie gave her a watery smile. 

“Hi,” she croaked. 

“How’d it go?” Dina said. Ellie shook her head. “Okay. That’s fine.” Joel walked in after her. 

“Hey there, baby girl,” said Joel. Ellie smiled at him. 

The nurse walked back in. 

“I have your meds,” she said. Ellie nodded. “There some sleeping meds.” Joel raised and eyebrow and nodded. She injected it into Ellie’s line. Ellie shivered. 

“Alright, take it easy. Max’s handler will come back to take him and you can sleep until dinner,” said the nurse. Ellie nodded sleepily. Te nurse patted her hand and walked out.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chap. Lemme know what you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dina knocked on the door of Ellie’s room and gently swung the door open. 

“Hey, Ellie…” Ellie’s bed was empty. The sheets were pushed back. The bed was empty. There wasn’t a nurse in the room. Ellie wasn’t scheduled for any tests. “Ellie?” The bathroom light was on. “Ellie?” She swung the door open and ran in. Ellie was half leaned over the sink holding a pair of scissors. Dina’s heart skipped a beat. “Ellie…” Ellie looked over at her and dropped a clump of hair. 

“Hey.” Ellie smirked. Dina shook her head. 

“Really?” Dina could have cried in relief if she wasn’t so pissed. “I could’ve taken you to get a haircut when you got out.” Ellie shrugged.

“I wanted one now.” Dina rubbed her forehead. 

“I swear to God.” Dina let out a weak laugh, and she walked over, looking around Ellie’s new shoulder length hair. “It looks good on you dork.”

“Yeah?” Ellie grinned. 

“Okay. Now we’re going to get you back to bed,” said Dina. Ellie rolled her eyes. Her legs shook like a newborn doe. “Can I…?” Ellie nodded. Dina put her arm around her shoulders and lifted her weight against her. She all but dragged Ellie back to bed. Ellie collapsed down on the bed with a moan. 

“You know that you aren’t supposed to be walking with your spinal fractures, right?” said Dina. Ellie shrugged. “Doesn’t it hurt?” Ellie shrugged again. Ellie dragged herself into a sitting position. “Okay, don’t…let me help…” Dina swung Ellie’s legs back up on the bed and tilted her forward and tucked pillows behind her. 

“Dina…” mumbled Ellie. 

“Oh shush. Let me make you comfortable,” said Dina. Ellie nodded and relaxed a little. Dina stared at Ellie’s newly shortened hair. It looked good. “Better?” Ellie nodded and sunk down. 

“Thank you,” she said. Dina nodded. Her phone went off. She looked down and muted her phone. “What is it?”

“My mom. Don’t worry about it,” said Dina. Ellie nodded. 

“Joel said he was looking at rehab places for me,” said Ellie.

“Yeah?” said Dina. Ellie nodded. Dina sat on the bed next to her and grabbed her hand. “Do you wanna go to rehab?” Ellie shrugged. 

“I feel trapped here. I don’t wanna be here,” said Ellie. 

“Room here or hospital here?” said Dina. Ellie shrugged and picked at the blanket. “Do you wanna go for a walk? Would that feel better?” Dina paused. “Well, you would be in a wheelchair, but it would get you out of the room.” Ellie gave her a tight smile. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Ellie nodded. 

“I think…I think I wanna go,” said Ellie. Dina grinned. 

“Sweet. I’ll be back with a chair.”  
**************************************************************************  
“Let me know if you get overwhelmed, okay?” Ellie nodded and rubbed her nose. She slid down lower. “And hey, careful. You’re going to hurt yourself if you don’t sit up straighter.”

“I’ve never done anything straight in my life,” muttered Ellie. Dina snorted in surprise. Ellie’s smile faltered. “I’m sorry…I was just—”

“Hey. It’s okay, Ellie. There’s nothing wrong with liking girls. Things are better now. I promise,” said Dina. Ellie swallowed and nodded. Dina stopped and pulled over the chair, leaning down in front of her. “Will it make you feel better…if I told you I liked girls too.” Ellie nodded slightly. “I promise, I’ll never hurt you.” Ellie leaned down and pressed her face against Dina’s shoulder. “I know it’s scary, but I promise you can trust me. I will never shame you for who you are.” She felt Ellie sniffle against her. Dina ghosted a kiss over her ear. Ellie shivered but didn’t pull back. “You know I’d love to hold you all day, but this has be really bad on your back.” Ellie sat back and rubbed her nose. 

“Do you wanna go to the playroom? They have game consoles and TVs and stuff.” Ellie shrugged and nodded. “Okay, I’ll take you there, and if it’s not your thing, then we can go back to your room?” Ellie nodded. 

Ellie was relatively quiet on the ride there. She lifted her foot off the foot rest and let it drag along the floor. She wouldn’t keep still, she kept stretching her neck, looking around. Dina could practically see the gears in her head turn as Ellie tried to process all the new information. 

“Are you doing okay?” asked Dina. Ellie nodded. 

“Yeah…” The speaker went off, and Ellie winced at the loud beep.

They walked into the playroom. The colors were so bright that Ellie blinked in surprise. It looked like a paradise. There were 4 big flat screens with game consoles and a few smaller CRTVs tucked in corners. Desks were in the opposite wall with child locked computers. Two boys and a small girl sat at a table of Legos, near that was a large doll house, and on the back wall, a bookshelf. Toy boxes full of trucks, transformers, stuffed animals, and dolls lined the back of the room. A very large play kitchen and play doctor’s office area were in a far area. 

“Wow,” said Ellie. 

“Too much?” asked Dina. Ellie shook her head.

“No. But a lot,” said Ellie. Dina squeezed her shoulder. 

“Where do you wanna go?” asked Dina. She watched as Ellie tried to take the room in. “Do you like Mario Kart?” Ellie nodded. She pushed Ellie over to one of the couches. “Wanna sit?” Ellie nodded. Dina pulled her up and sat her back down on the couch. Dina tucked a pillow behind her lower back and pulled her blanket over her knees. Dina reached over and turned on the console, handing Ellie a controller. 

Ellie was very bad at Mario Kart. Her hands were shaky and even the soft noise of the kids seemed to easily distract her. 

“You doing okay?” asked Dina, after the fifth time Ellie got in last because half way through she stopped playing. Ellie shrugged. She seemed to see something from the corner of her eye and wince. “Ellie…” Ellie jerked slightly, leaning against Dina.

“Okay, let’s get you back to your room.” 

Ellie flinched when Dina put her hand on her shoulder. 

“Sorry. C’mon,” said Dina. Ellie nodded blearily. She let Dina move her. She wrapped her up in the blanket. Ellie gasped all the sudden and jumped back. “Hey, I’m sorry, We’re just going to take you back to your room, okay?”

“I-I_I see ‘em,: said Ellie. Dina nodded. “Okay Ellie. We’re going to have a nurse come and look at you once you get to your room, okay?” Ellie’s head bobbed up and down.

“No, no, no no,” Ellie whispered.

Dina tried not to run Ellie to her room. She had no idea what was going on or how to fix it. 

“Dina, run!” yelled Ellie. And of course, Ellie ran. Not because she was afraid of whatever Ellie was afraid of, but because it would make Ellie feel better. As soon as Dina got into Elli’s room, Ellie broke down. Dina slammed the call button. 

“No, no, no, no. no. no,” said Ellie. “No, Riley!” Her voiced cracked. “David…duh-don’t touch me!” She looked and Dina although it felt like it was through her. “Don’t hurt her!”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter! Lemme know what you think!!

“Ellie…there’s no one here but us,” said Dina softly. Ellie blinked hard and shook her head. 

“No, Dina. No, you…you need to run. He’s…” Ellie pressed her hand into her eyes. “Run!” Ellie threw herself forward. Dina reached over and caught her and put her back on the bed. 

“Ellie, you’re okay. You’re safe.” Dina reached around her and pressed the call button.

“No. Dina! Don’t you see him? I didn’t kill him. He’s back. He wants me. If I don’t…If I don’t—” Ellie reached around and shoved the wheeled table. 

“Hey…” Dina knelt down. Ellie’s eyes weren’t focusing. They darted back and forth quickly. She wasn’t looking at Dina, she was looking right through her. Dina reached out to touch Ellie’s face. Ellie jerked back. 

“Run…Please. Just leave me,” said Ellie. Tears dripped down her face. 

There was a soft knock on the door. Ellie jumped as the nurse opened the door. 

“Hi.” Ellie shook her head. 

“Leave. Please. He’s here…he’ll kill you…” Ellie was sobbing now. The nurse nodded. 

“I’ll get a doctor,” she whispered. Ellie slid her hand through her hair and started pulling on it.

“Hey…” said Dina. “Don’t—” Ellie jerked her head back. 

“I can feel him. I can…shut up!” she yelled. Dina bit her lip. She slipped behind Ellie crossed Ellie’s arms over her chest, pinning them down.

“Sorry, sorry,” said Dina. “I know. I know.” She rocked Ellie back and forth as she started hyperventilating. 

“He’s—he’s touching me! I don’t want it! Dina, he’s going to hurt you!” Fat tears dripped down Ellie’s face. 

“Hey, hey, shh…You’re okay. You’re safe,” said Dina. “It’s just me.” Ellie trembled like a leaf and shook her head. 

“Dina, please, Dina, we nuh-need…to run!” 

The door opened up, and a nurse and doctor walked in. 

“Hi, Ellie, Dina,” said the doctor. Dina nodded. Ellie’s eyes still wouldn’t focus on the doctor. 

“He’s—there’s—I…” said Ellie. 

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?” asked the doctor. 

“Dina won’t—she won’t listen. David—I see him—he’s…” Ellie shook her head. “Shut up!” The doctor knelt by Ellie. 

“Do you just see David?” asked the doctor. Ellie nodded. 

“He’s right there. He’s right…Riley…Riley is too,” said Ellie. “I..I thought I…” Ellie clutched her head. “Shut up!” The doctor nodded. 

“Okay. I’m going to give you something to help you sleep,” she said. Ellie stiffened. 

“I…” Before Ellie could process what was going on, the doctor pulled down her waistband and wiped off the skin under her hip. Ellie tried to flinch away. Dina tightened her grip as Ellie took a shaky breath. The doctor stuck the needle into her thigh. Ellie’s jaw drops and she blinks slowly. 

“Ow…” The doctor finished injecting the syringe and pulled it out, rubbing the injection site.

“All done,” said the doctor. Ellie moaned. 

“I got you,” murmured Dina. She kissed the top of Ellie’s head. “I got you, love.”  
***********************************************************************************  
Dina held Ellie long after she fell asleep. Well…is sedated. She’s not totally out, which is clear from her soft moans and twitches. 

Joel was called and when he arrived, looking horrified, he simply held her hand as she rested on Dina’s lap. Her nose twitched.

Cara and the psychiatrist sat in.

“So, we believe that Ellie had a psychotic episode,” said Cara. She said it gently and carefully. “This doesn’t mean she’s crazy or will suffer from this for a long period of time. The stress of her situation and all the changes she’s been through probably caused it. Ellie tentatively has PTSD and this is a possible symptom.” Joel nodded and kissed the back of Ellie’s hand. 

“When she wakes up and is calmer, I want to examine her and see what could have triggered this, and how we should go about treating it, if this is a reoccurring problem,” she said. Joel nodded. “This can be very treatable with medicine and talk therapy.” Joel sniffled and nodded. “We gave her some antipsychotics. They’ll wear off in a little while and we’ll see how she is. I would like to determine the best course of treatment for her before she goes to rehab, just because I worried that all of that change may temporarily make it worse and cause her to be over medicated.” Joel nodded.

“That’s fine,” he said gruffly. The psychiatrist nodded and left. 

“I also think that you might benefit from counseling as well,” said Cara. She pulled out her wallet and dug out a card. “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. This colleague of mine specializes in helping foster parents deal with the trauma of their children. He might be able to help you. I would also recommend some family therapy for you and Ellie and anyone else who lives or will live with you. I know they have very good sessions at both of the rehab centers you’ve considered.” Joel nodded.

“Thank you,” said Joel. Cara nodded and walked out. 

“Thank you for helping with her,” Joel said to Dina. Dina shook her head.

“It’s fine, Joel. I wanted to,” Dina mumbled. “I was really worried.” He nodded. 

“Me too,” he said. He reached over and pushed the hair back from her face. Ellie muttered and turned her head.

“How were the rehab centers?” said Dina softly. Joel shrugged. 

“One of ‘em was shit,” said Joel. “He other one…I like it better, but I’m not sure if it’s a good fit. I don’t even know Ellie to know what she would like. It seems nice, but it feels a little juvenile. I don’t want her to feel like I’m treating her like a child.”

“I mean, maybe she wants to be treated like a child. Maybe she wants to be coddled,” said Dina. Joel nodded.

“God, it’s just…” Joel rubbed his face. “We buried her. But she’s here. She’s fine and…We buried her stuff. In her casket. I need to get it out. God, who do you call for that?” 

“No to pry, but I think maybe you should go and see that councilor,” said Dina. Joel chuckled drily. 

“You’re probably right,” he said. 

“And you should also talk to Ellie,” said Dina. Joel snorted.

“That would probably help too.” He sighed. “I wish I could have protected her from this…” He shook his head. “But I shouldn’t be putting this all on you. Thank you for being such a good friend to Ellie. I know you were just volunteering for your internship.” Dina shook her head. 

“I volunteer because I love doing this. I love helping people. That’s why I want to do this,” said Dina. “And Ellie…she’s special. I really like her. She’s a good friend. She’s not just some kid I’m helping. I really do like being her friend.” Dina could swear she saw a ghost of a smile cross Ellie’s face. Dina squeezed her hand. 

Joel’s phone rang. 

“Could you stay with her a second?” he asked. 

“I can stay as long as she needs,” said Dina. Joel nodded and walked out. She felt Ellie’s hand drop out of hers and roll slightly to the side. Ellie sniffled and pressed her face into Dina’s boob. Dina gently scratched her back. 

“I think I love you,” said Ellie quietly. Dina smiled softly and shook her head. She kissed the top of Ellie’s head. 

“I love you too.” Ellie exhaled heavily.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
> I hope you like the chapter. I've had a lot going on right now. I should have more free time, as it is my winter break, so expect some more chapters soon. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading. At the end I have a little bit of a rant about somethings in my life. If you're curious about where some of the rage in this story comes from, please read it.
> 
> and once again,  
> hey,  
> thanks :)

Ellie blinked. Dina shushed her and rubbed her arm. Ellie jolted up and leaned over, dry heaving. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” said Dina. “You’re okay.” Ellie continues to heave and shoved Dina away. Dina scrambled form bed and grabbed a basin for Ellie. Liquid dripped from her mouth into the basin. Dina reached over and sent Joel a text. “Hey. Hey. Relax, Ellie. You’re safe. It’s me. It’s Dina.” Ellie leaned back and sniffled. Her face was completely red. Her eyes darted around. Dina slowly reached out her hand and touched Ellie’s cheek. Ellie flinched, but didn’t pull all the way away. “Good…”

“What-what…” Ellie swallowed and sniffled. Dina wiped off Ellie’s mouth. 

“Easy,” said Dina. She rubbed her finger across her cheek. Ellie sniffled.

“I feel really weird,” she said quietly. 

“Aww…I’m sorry about that. You got scared, and they gave you something to calm you down…” said Dina. Ellie blinked. 

“David was here…” said Ellie. “But I thought…and Riley…” Ellie rubbed her face. “But they’re dead? But I saw them?” Dina shook her head. 

“They weren’t really there. Ellie,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head.

“I’m not crazy,” she said.

“No. Of course not,” said Dina. “You’ve been through trauma, and you’re stressed.” Ellie was quiet. She sniffled. Dina kissed her forehead.

“You’re totally fine,” said Dina. “I love that you’re trying your best.” Ellie turned her head and pressed it into Dina’s shoulder. Dina ran her hand through Ellie’s hair. Ellie sniffled.

Dina’s phone went off again. Ellie startled up. 

“Hey. It’s okay,” said Dina. She lightly pulled Ellie back to her chest. “Just my phone.” Ellie nodded and collapsed back into her chest. Dina reached to silence her phone.

“Who…keeps calling you?” Ellie muttered.

“It’s just my mom,” said Dina. 

“Something wrong?” said Ellie. 

“No. She’s just checking up on me,” said Dina. 

“You can leave…if you need to…” said Ellie.

“I’m right where I need to be,” said Dina. Ellie let out a small noise. “Ellie…” She hiccupped, and her lip trembled. 

“You-you don’t have to be so nice to me,” said Ellie. “I nuh-know it’s just your job. You can go…if you need to go…” Dina shook her head and pressed her lips to Ellie’s head. 

“I meant what I said. I’m right where I need to be,” said Dina. “And don’t you doubt that for one second. I want to be here with you.” 

“Why? I’m so messed up…I fucking see…see things…I was raped…I’m—I’m just…” Dina shook her head. 

“No, love. You are so more than any of that. You are not what happened to you. You’re snarky and smart and so so brave,” said Dina. Ellie sniffled and let out a harsh sob. “I’m so sorry that all of these terrible things keep happening to you. You deserve so much better, Ellie.”

“You don’t even-even nuh-know me,” said Ellie.

“I know you enough, Ellie,” said Dina softly. “Now take some nice deep breaths, okay? You don’t wanna faint.” Ellie nodded and tried to even out her breathing as she continued to cry. Dina rubbed her back and hummed softly.

There was a knock on the door, and it creaked open.

“Baby girl?” said Joel. Dina shook her head. Ellie rolled off Dina and cuddled into her side. She balled her fist into her shirt and pressed her face into Dina’s shoulder. She felt wetness and lips against her neck. Dina squeezed an arm around her waist. Joel relaxed a little seeing that Dina could take care of Ellie. Dina’s phone went off again. Dina sighed and silenced her phone again. Her mom had sent her ten texts. She sighed and rubbed her face. Joel looked at her concerned. Dina shook her head. 

“It’s fine,” she mouthed. Joel didn’t look so sure. Ellie buried her face even harder against Dina’s neck. 

“Hey…shh…” said Dina. “Just get it all out. You’re okay. You’re safe here.” She felt Ellie’s lips open and her teeth sink into Dina’s shoulder. “Ow. Hey. Ellie, don’t do that.” Dina pushed Ellie from her shoulder. “Ellie, what are you doing?” Ellie blinked and rubbed her eyes. She looked away from Dina. 

“Sorry…” said Ellie. Dina shook her head. 

“You’re fine. Please don’t do it again.” Ellie sniffled and looked away embarrassed. Dina brushed Ellie’s hair from her face. “Don’t be embarrassed. You’re okay.” Ellie’s watery breathing evened out. She relaxed back into Dina. Dina traced small shapes on her back. Ellie seemed to fall back asleep. Dina and Joel waited a little bit before Joel sighed and sat up. 

“Do you wanna tell me what all those calls were about?” asked Joel. 

“Not really,” said Dina. Joel sighed. 

“Hey, you have helped Ellie and me in ways that I can’t begin to show my appreciation for. If you’re having problems, trying to help you out is the least I can do,” he said. Dina paused. 

“I haven’t really been getting along with my mom recently,” said Dina. Joel nodded. “My mom’s getting older and since my dad left, she’s been…struggling with her life.” Joel nodded. “I know what I’m going to do with my life. I’m doing pretty good too…but she keeps micromanaging me.” Joel nodded. “Really I should probably move out, but I don’t have the cash.”

“How much would you have to pay rent?” he asked.

“Like $150, maybe…if that. I have to pay for my car, my phone, food…I just…there’s school…” Joel nodded. 

“You got a lot on your plate, huh?” he said. Dina nodded. “If you really want to, you can move into my house. I’ll charge you, eh…$50 a month.”

“No,” said Dina. “I couldn’t do that.” Joel shook his head.

“It’s the least I can do. You deserve to have things as easy for you as possible with all you’re doing for us. And you can help me out with Ellie once she gets home. Or if you don’t want to, you can leave. I’m not trying to tether you to us, I just want you to feel…safe?” Dina nodded. 

“Thanks, but I think I’m fine,” said Dina. Joel nodded. 

“If you ever need anything…Just ask.”

“Thanks. I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so this is just a rant, you don't have to read it, it has nothing to with the plot of the story. 
> 
> My (straight, male) friend was sexually assaulted by a (gay, male) friend of his at a party on our college campus. The man who sexually assaulted him has done this to at least 5 other people. He was only found guilty of one, towards a girl. He said he was gay and even though 5 people came forward as witness, he only got community service. The man is still the lead in the play that my friend is co-starring in. Several of his other victims had quit the play because my school's theater department will not kick him out of the play. The administration knows about it and won't do anything about it. My friend's case recently just got dismissed.
> 
> It's been on of the most difficult things I've watched. My friend is forced in a situation where he can either quit from the biggest role he's had so far or have to spend an entire semester with his rapist. None of the victims know what to do. 
> 
> That's part of where this story is coming from. Obviously, these things are very different from each other, my story and my situation. However, the emotions I put into it come from a similar place. It's my rage for my friend and the rage that this all can and does happen. Men and women get raped by both men and women. My other best friend is a man who was raped by his then-girlfriend and her friends. He was physically strong enough to fight them off, but he didn't. He didn't want to hurt him. He felt like since he was a guy, he couldn't say no. He was also an easy target because of his serve mental illness. 
> 
> I won't apologize for this rant. I've seen so much stuff and exaggerating it and making it gay is the only way I know how to deal with it. In a way, I am Dina. I'm trying to help my friends put themselves back together after seeing all the terrible sexual and intimate violence against the people I love. 
> 
> Next time you see something, speak out. Don't let this keep happening. Stand up for those you care about and even those you don't. The only way we're going to be able to solve this problem is if everyone stands up for women, of course, but men as well.
> 
> Thanks for listening.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter moves things along. Let me know what you think!!

Dina knew what the medications would likely do to Ellie. The doctors were trying to wean her off the short-term sedatives and onto something more long term. Ellie would become more lethargic and probably nauseous and confused. And clingy. At least that’s what Dina blames the clinginess for. 

Ellie would grip onto her and Joel and not let go until she fell asleep. Even then sometimes they would have to pry her sleepy finger from around the neckline of their shirts.

“The doctor needs to examine you,” said Dina gently. Ellie didn’t move her face from where it was tucked into Dina’s collar bone. “El, c’mon.” Ellie shook her head. 

“I wanna go home,” said Ellie wetly. Joel and Dina made eye contact over Ellie’s shoulder. 

“Babygirl, please let the doctor check you over,” Joel said. Ellie lifted her head up and sniffled.

“Good,” Dina cooed. “Thank you, Ellie.” Ellie rubbed her nose on the sleeve of her shirt. She rolled off of Dina’s chest and flat on her back. Ellie flinched as the doctor pulled up her shirt and felt her abdomen. 

“It’s okay. No one is going to hurt you,” said the doctor. Ellie nodded. She gripped Dina’s hand tighter. 

“Ow, ow, ow…” muttered Ellie. 

“Does it feel more tender?” asked the doctor. Ellie shrugged. 

“It hurts—” She gasped. The doctor pulled back the bandages. 

“It looks fine,” she said. She pulled Ellie’s shirt and blanket over her.

“I’m going to check down here now…Do you want Dina and you dad to stay?” Ellie squeezed her legs together and nodded. The nurse helped Ellie slide her pants off and open her legs. Ellie shifted her hips. “Let me know fi you want me to stop.” Ellie nodded. Joel grabbed Ellie’s other hand and turned away. 

Ellie looked down and winced at her own mangled…

“Hey.” Dina cupped her cheek and gently turned her head so they were facing each other. “Look at me and relax. They’ll be done soon.” 

“Cold.” Ellie flinched. “Sorry. Now pressure.” Dina bumped her nose against Ellie’s. The surprise distracted her from the horrible sensation. “Good and…take a deep breath for me…”

“Ow—fuck—stop.” The doctor stopped. 

“Ellie, sweetheart, it will be easier if you just relax,” she said. Ellie shook her head. She let go of both Joel and Dina’s hands and cupped her crotch. 

“Don’t.” She knocked Dina’s hand from her face. 

“Ellie…” Ellie shook her head. 

“Leave!”

“But, Ellie…”

“Get out!” The doctor and the nurse walked out. 

“Do you want me to leave?” asked Dina. Ellie squeezed her eyes shut. 

“I don’t know,” said Ellie. She pulled on some of the wires. 

“Hey, now, baby girl. Don’t you do that…” said Joel. Ellie shook her head. 

“No. I just wanna. I don’t—” Ellie pulled off the blood pressure cuff. 

“Ellie,” said Dina. “Hey. Relax.” Ellie started yanking the stickies off of her chest. 

Cara walked in right at that moment. 

“Ellie…can we talk?” she asked. Ellie shook her head.

“I’m sick of talking. I just wanna…I just wanna…” Ellie shoved the table. “Fuck!”

Footsteps pounded down the hall. There was shouting and yells. 

A tall dark-haired woman barged through the door. 

“Ellie?” 

“Tess?” Ellie squeaked. The woman threw her arms around Ellie. Ellie tucked her face in the woman—Tess’ shoulder. The woman pulled up Ellie’s sweats without asking a question.

“I’m so sorry, Ellie,” she said. “I’m sorry that we stopped looking. I’m sorry that this happened to you, kid.” Ellie didn’t say anything but pressed her face harder into Tess, clutching onto the back of her shirt.

“I’m going to go,” said Dina. She nodded at Joel, who looked at her with big pleading eyes. “Text me if Ellie needs me.”   
******************************************************************************  
A stupid part of Dina felt jealous. Ellie had her family now. She didn’t need Dina. The rational part of her knew that wasn’t how that work, that Ellie needed friends her age to get back into society, and that she hoped Ellie would need her. But the other part of her wanted to leave them alone. Let them bond as a family and only come when Ellie asked for her. 

So, to her mother’s delight, Dina stopped going to the hospital. She went back to studying, to working her job, to helping her mom out. 

Ellie healed. From the now weekly, maybe twice weekly, visits, she saw Ellie get better. The tube came out of her nose, she started solid foods. Her meds got balances, she would leave her room more, although for not a long period of time. Rehab started looking closer and closer and closed but with both of Ellie’s…parents, she had plenty of support. 

“Ready, kiddo?” Ellie nodded. Joel looked like such a proud papa as the doctor sighed off on Ellie’s release. Tess was digging through Ellie’s duffle bag, making sure she had everything and that all the clothes was in there. Joel signed off on the paper. Everyone was beaming. Ellie looked around Joel and locked eyes with Dina, giving her a huge grin. Dina gave her a thumbs up.

The rehab center was barely ten minutes from the hospital. Ellie fell over onto Dina, her eyes closed as she fought of the nausea from the motion of the car.

“Are you doing okay?” Dina whispered. Ellie shrugged and nodded. 

“Not used to cars,” said Ellie. Dina nodded. 

“Almost there,” said Dina. Ellie bit her lip. “Don’t be nervous about rehab. It’s really nice.” 

“There’s…a lot of people.” Ellie swallowed. 

“These people are professionals,” said Dina. “They’ll make sure you’re okay. They’re not going to shove you into a room full of people and tell you to deal.” Ellie nodded and nuzzled up against Dina. Dina squashed the warm affection rising in her throat. She can’t think of Ellie like that. It’s not right. It’s not what Ellie needs. 

The part of Dina that wasn’t stupid assumed that Ellie would not do well in a waiting room full of people. Honest to God, Dina couldn’t understand why they had her wait in there. 

Ellie’s blanket was pulled up to her shoulders. Her hands were clenched over her ears. The muscles on her neck chorded out. Joel gently moved the wheelchair back and forth. Tess was up arguing with the receptionist. Dina let her fingers drift over Ellie’s knee. 

“Ellie Williams-Miller,” said a nurse. The whole group of them now, followed her into an examination room. 

“Wooh, sorry about that. There was an incident with another center and we had something shifted over here.” The nurse pulled up something on the computer. 

“My name is Sav. I’ll be your day nurse here,” she said. “I will also be helping you get settled in today.” Ellie nodded. Her hands slowly left her ears. Sav smiled. “Good. Now for the basic stuff…” She went through name, birthdate, etc. while Ellie played with the edge of the blanket. 

Save snapped a plastic bracelet on Ellie’s wrist over her hospital ones. 

“Too tight?” Ellie shook her head. “Good. Now. Is there anything you want to ask before we start the exam?” Ellie shook her head. “Anything you need…water…a snack?” Ellie shook her head again. “Okay. Do you want to get up on the table or stay in the chair?” Ellie snorted and shrugged. “Okay. Down here it is then.” 

Sav pulled off her stethoscope. Ellie tensed. 

“Breathe.” She warmed it in her hand before pressing it to Ellie’s chest. Ellie fidgeted the entire time she took her vitals.

“Now could I get you up on the table. I just want to check your incisions and give you a little finger prick, and then we’re all set to go to your room.” Ellie nodded. She chewed the inside of her cheek. “Do you want them all to stay while I check you over?” Ellie froze. “It’s just the ones on your abdomen and your arm.” Ellie relaxed and nodded. 

“Could…Dina, could you…st-stay?” Dina tried not to look as surprised as she felt. 

“Yeah. Of course,” she said. Joel and Tess walked towards the door.

“We’ll be right outside, baby girl,” he said. Dina watched them walk out.

“Is everything okay with them?” asked Dina. Ellie shrugged. 

“Hell, if I know. I think they hate each other and are just putting up with each other because they feel bad that I was kidnapped and missing for five years,” said Ellie. “It’s so fucking weird. They need to chill.” Her and Dina exchanged a long look before Dina let out a dry laugh. 

“Oh my God,” said Dina. Ellie grinned like she was the funniest shit in the world. Sav helped her onto the exam table and steadied her as she leaned back. 

“What first? Arm or belly?” Ellie shrugged. Sav pulled back the bandage over the brand scar. Ellie looked away at Dina. Dina gave her a goofy grin. Ellie snorted softly. “It looks like the injections are evening it out nicely.” Ellie flinched as the gloved hand ran over it. “Sorry. Is It tender?”

“Feels weird,” said Ellie. 

“Once it’s smooth, we’ll give you a cream to help even out the skin tone. It won’t go away completely, but it will certainly improve it,” said Sav. Ellie nodded. Sav rewrapped it in loose gauze.

“Alright now, can you pull your shirt up for me?” Ellie nodded and obeyed. Dina briefly glanced at the patchwork of gauze, scar, and skin. “Little tug.” Ellie winced as the edge of the bandages were pulled up. “This is healing nicely.” Ellie’s head jerked up as Sav palpated her stomach. 

“Relax…almost done,” she said. 

“That…h-hurts,” mumbled Ellie. 

“I’m sorry. Almost done.” Ellie closed her eyes and looked at Dina. 

“Gross. Time for Joel and Tess again.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chap! Enjoy

Ellie looked slightly nauseous. 

“So, as you can see here, we have your week planned out for you. Here are all your therapy sessions. You have classes during the afternoon. You have group twice a week. There’s a couple you can chose from.” Ellie pulled on her bracelets, fear shone in her eyes. Joel stopped her hand. “I know it’s a lot to take on. We’ll take it slow and as you heal, get you on a busier and more rigorous schedule. Until you’re ready you can have breaks for naps and Quiet Times. We’d like to limit visitors to Friday, Saturday, Sunday, but, for the first few weeks, someone can come over as often as you’d like. This is all about learning to adjust.” Sav smiled at her reassuringly. “Any questions?” 

“Yeah. Bin?” said Ellie. Sav handed it to her before Ellie’s attempt at a calm façade shattered, and she vomited into the basin. 

“Sorry. It can be a little much,” said Sav. Ellie nodded. She gagged and vomited more. Joel grabbed a tissue, and Tess grabbed a water jug. They both tried to offer each to Ellie at the same time and bumped hands. Ellie startled back, almost falling backwards off the bed. Dina steadies her and lets go. 

“There’s—there’s a lot of-of people…and a lot of stuff,” Ellie gasped. Her breathing sped up. Dina took another step back. 

“Okay…how’s about everyone clear out, so then Ellie can calm down and take a nap before seeing Dr. Julien. Does that sound good to you, Ms. Ellie?” Ellie nodded. Dina was out the door before Sav could shoo her out. Tess and Joel stayed an extra moment before following.

“Well,” said Joel. “I have a meeting with Ellie’s treatment team. Y’all can come if you want.” Ellie was right. The tension between them was more awkward than a middle school dance. 

“Uh, no. That’s okay. Call me if Ellie needs me,” said Dina. Joel nodded. 

“I might be getting her a phone soon, so look out for that,” he said. Dina nodded. 

“Oh god. Fun times,” said Dina.   
************************************************************************************  
Dina couldn’t help smile to herself as she saw Ellie pop up on her phone. 

Ellie <3 <3: God I missed so many fuckin emojis

Dina shook her head and slid her phone in her pocket. It vibrated every few seconds with another emoji. 

Dina’s mom frowned. 

“Did you tell her that you were at dinner?” she asked. Dina shook her head. 

“She just got her phone for the first time in, like, 5 years. I’m the only one she can text other than her…parents,” she said. Dina mom rolled her eyes. 

“I can’t believe you care about her more than your own family.”

“Mom, she got kidnapped.” 

“She’s not your responsibility.”

“No. She’s my friend.” Dina looked under the table and pulled her phone from her pocket. 

Dina: My mom’s being a pain in the ass. I might come over later. 

Ellie: Good im bored

Dina tried not to laugh.

“Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah, Mom,” said Dina. “I gotta go. See you. Love you. Bye.” Dina grabbed the keys from the bowl and ran out.

She drove out to the rehab center, digging around the consol for her visitor’s tag. She pinned it to her sleeve. 

Dina pulled into the parking lot. She checked in and nearly ran to Ellie’s room. 

Ellie was reclined in the overstuffed armchair, a 3DS balanced on her knee. 

“Hey,” said Dina. Ellie grinned. 

“Thank God. Hey,” she said. Dina tried to ignore how the relief in Ellie’s voice make her heart swell. 

“Can I sit?” Dina asked, pointing at the armchair. Ellie nodded. Dina slid in next to her, gently lifting Ellie’s hip so that it was resting on top her. Ellie immediately cuddled up in her side. “How are you?” Ellie shrugged and closed the 3DS. Dina started tracing shapes on Ellie’s shoulder. 

“There’s a lot of people,” said Ellie quietly.

“Yeah?”

“They haven’t been making me leave my room too much but…it’s so loud.” Ellie sniffled. “It makes my head hurt.” Dina nodded. “I have my first group therapy tomorrow and I…I can’t do it. It’s—there’s too many people. I won’t –I can’t think and…” Dina shushed her. 

“Hey, hey, shh…it’s okay. You’ll be fine,” said Dina. Ellie’s took a few moments to calm back down. “Why don’t you tell someone? Why don’t you tell Joel to tell someone or the nurse…Sav?” Ellie shook her head. 

“I don’t like telling people things…I feel—I feel like they’re judging me. They just give me this look and write stuff down.” There was a paused. Dina rocked her softly and shushed her. “I’m not crazy.” 

“You’re not,” said Dina. “It’s shitty that they’re treating you that way, but you know they’re trying to hep you.”

“I’m not an experiment,” mumbled Ellie. 

“No. You’re not,” said Dina. 

“I just wanna see what they’re saying,” said Ellie. “I’m—I know I’m not doing super good—but I’m trying…It’s really hard, Dina.” Dina nodded. 

“You know those notes aren’t to shit on you, right, Ellie? You have like 20 doctors and therapists and specialist, and this is how they all communicate with each other.” Ellie closed her eyes and nodded. “But…you’re not being dumb. Dude, I’d be paranoid too if I was surrounded by people who were constantly scrutinizing me.” Ellie made a small of hum of acknowledgement. 

“Everyone keeps rambling about how well I’m doing. They’re full of shit. I believe that a man I killed with my own hands was alive. I saw the light leave his eyes. Well…I could barely see his eyes once I was done.” Ellie bit her lip. “I crushed his face in with an axe.” Something seemed to damn on her. “Shit! Sorry.” Ellie scrambled away. Dina tried to catch her as collapsed. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I don’t care what you’ve done,” said Dina. “If he were alive, I would axe him in the face.” Dina let out a light laugh and reach out for her. Ellie smiled in relief and grabbed Dina’s hand, pulling her up. “C’mon. Let’s go to couch.” Dina and Ellie fell on the couch, and Ellie curled up on Dina’s lap.

“Sorry if saying those things scared you,” said Ellie. Dina shook her head. “It’s okay.” 

“Sometimes…things just happen…Thoughts just happen and words just…” Ellie shook her head.

“I bet,” said Dina. Ellie shifted, laying on her mostly healed belly, shoved her face in the meat of Dina’s knee.

“How’s school?” she asked. Dina chuckled and rubbed a circle on her back. 

“Awesome…” Dina laughs hollowly. “I love college, don’t get me wrong, but like…it’s hard.” Ellie nodded. 

“I want to go,” she said. 

“You’re nor prepared for it,” she jokes. “No one is.” Ellie rolled over, facing Dina.

“So I have this professor,” she began. “And he’s like, a real stickler for rules and respect…” And honestly, Dina was barely aware of what she was saying. Ellie was looking up at her with her big green eyes. And fuck, Dina was gone. She ended up casually tracing her freckles while talking. Ellie let out a giggle. And honestly, all of it just felt right. The idea of Ellie being damaged and of this being a terrible idea floated and yelled in her head until—

A soft hand caressed Dina’s cheek. Ellie gently pulled her down. And Dina relaxed into a soft nervous kiss.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the angst!! Happy New Year!!

Dina woke up with a warm body pressed up against her. She blinked slowly. Ellie was on her back, her head tilted on Dina’s shoulder. Dina smiled. 

There was another knock on the door. It opened silently. 

“Hi,” said Sav. “Good morning.” 

“Hi,” said Dina. She sat back on her knees and yawned. 

“You guys had a little sleepover?” she asked. Dina nodded. 

“Do you need her up?” Sav nodded. “I can do it.” Sav nodded and walked over to the end of her bed with her tablet. Dina put her head back down, even with Ellie’s. She started rubbing Ellie’s back. 

“Ellie. Hey, love. It’s morning. The nurse is here. You gotta get up,” she said. Ellie whined. “Don’t be like that…” Ellie blinked slowly and glared at Dina. “Morning.” Dina kissed her nose. Ellie’s entire face went massively red. “Was that okay?” Ellie nodded. Dina squeezed her shoulder. Ellie sat up with a wince as Dina helped her up. Sav smiled at them. “Do you need me to get out of the way?” Sav shook her head. 

“Can I have your arm?” Ellie nodded. Sav wrapped a blood pressure cuff around her arm and put a pulse ox on her finger. Sav also pressed a stethoscope to her back. “Deep breaths for me.” Ellie nodded and closed her eyes. After several breath Sav straightened up.

“Lungs sound good.” Sav rolled a thermometer over her forehead. “Pulse ox is good. Temp is good. Blood pressure is good.” Sav disconnected her from all the machines. “Can you stand up for your weight today?” Ellie looked away from Dina and nodded. Dina sprang up.

“Need a hand?” Ellie nodded as Dina held out her elbow to her. 

Sav pulled over a scale with grips. Ellie stepped down and onto the scale. She let go of Dina’s arm and grabbed to the grip. Dina bit her lip. 

Ellie white knuckled onto the grips. She took a slow deep breath. Dina smiled softly at Ellie’s stiff form. She was so determined. She was trying to be so strong. 

“Good,” said Sav. Ellie fell back onto the bed. Ellie misjudged the distance between the two of them and landed on Dina. They both fell back on the bed.

“Ah! Fuck.” Somehow Dina managed to cushion Ellie’s fall as she landed between her legs. Dina caught her head before she slammed it against the bedrail. 

“Hey. Are you okay?” said Dina. “Ellie?” Ellie snorted and started laughing. 

“Sorry,” said Ellie. Dina exhaled and shoved her shoulder. 

“God, you scared me,” said Dina. Ellie shrugged. She nuzzled her nose into Dina’s chest. Dina shook her head. “You did this on purpose!” Ellie shrugged. 

“Maybe.” Sav smiled and shook her head. 

“Alright,” she said. “Meds and breakfast.” Ellie nodded. Dina pulled her up onto her lap. Sav placed two apple sauces down and watched Ellie take her pills. “So, today you’re going to have an easier schedule. The doctor is going to come and take out your stitches on your stomach and the packing in your—” 

“Okay,” said Ellie. She squeezed her fork.

“Joel and Tess said they’d be by before then,” said Sav. Ellie nodded. “Relax. We’ll keep it as easy as possible. Do you want something to help you relax right now?” Ellie shook her head. Sav smirked at them. “Okay. I’ll let you guys have a lazy day.” She headed out the door. “But it’s back to work for you tomorrow.” Ellie nodded.

“Yes, ma’am,” she said. Sav shook her head and smiled. Dina pulled out her phone.

“Shit. It’s dead. Oh well.” She tossed it on Ellie’s night table. 

“I might have, um, a charger for it,” said Ellie. Dina shrugged. 

“I rather not know what my mom has to say about me coming over here and spending the night,” said Dina. Ellie’s forehead creased adorably. 

“Are you in trouble?” she asked quietly. Dina shook her head.

“No. She’s just going to be mad. I mean, I did leave her without a car. Granted, I mean, it is my car. More or less,” said Dina. “And anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’d rather be here with you.” She brushed her nose against Ellie’s. Ellie jumped.

“Shit, sorry,” said Dina. 

“No, it’s, um, I just wasn’t expecting it,” said Ellie. “I-I liked it.” Ellie looked down and fiddled with the lip of the applesauce. Dina leaned over and opened Ellie’s before her own. “What are we?” Ellie asked quietly.

“Whatever you want,” said Dina. “I can wait fi you want me to. I care for you. I love you. But if you’re not ready for that, that’s okay too.” Ellie nodded. 

“That’s a lot…I-I just…”

“We can wait. I’ll be glad to wait for you.” Ellie nodded.

“Thank you.” She sniffled. Ellie closed her eyes. 

“Could you turn on the TV? Like a kids’ cartoon or one of those daytime talk shows or something. I don’t like the quiet,” said Ellie. Dina nodded and flipped on the TV.

“Yeah. If you eat.” Dina pushed her empty cup to the side and grabbed a spoonful for Ellie. “Open up.” Ellie flinched, and her eyes shot open. “Shit. Sorry.” Ellie shook her head.

“Don’t like those words.”

“I won’t use them. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” 

“He used to tell me to—” Dina shushed her.

“I know you don’t want to tell me. You don’t have to,” said Dina. Ellie relaxed. She leaned forward and took a bite off the spoon. “Thank you.”

“If I throw this up later, I’m blaming you,” said Ellie.

“Guess that’s a risk I’ll have to take,” Dina said. Ellie giggled. She looked over at the clock.

“Could we…could I…um, sorry I just…” Ellie sighed. 

“Whatever you want, it’s okay,” said Dina. Ellie rubbed her nose on the sleeve of her thermal. 

“Can you give me a kiss before Tess and Joel come?” Ellie mumbled. Dina broke out in a huge smile. 

“You’re so cute,” said Dina. She leaned over and pecked Ellie on the lips. Ellie flushed. Dina rubbed Ellie gently on the chest and relaxed back into the bed. “You’ll be okay, Ellie.” Ellie nodded. Dina felt Ellie’s arm move and looked down to see her squeezing the dino.

They sat in mostly silence watching TV until there was a knock at the door, and Tess and Joel came in. 

“Hey there, baby girl,” said Joel. Dina pushed Ellie up so that Ellie could wrap her arms around Joel. “And morning to you too, Dina.” Dina nodded. 

“Morning, Joel,” said Dina. She nodded at Tess who also walked over to give her a hug. 

“Good morning, kiddo,” she said. Ellie nodded and sunk further down into Dina. 

“Comfy?” asked Joel. Ellie shrugged. Joel rubbed her shoulder. “This is a big milestone. And you’ll be fine. We’ll be with you for whatever you need.”

“I know, Joel,” Ellie mumbled into the neck of the dino. He smiled at her. 

“Good…”

Ellie jumped at the soft knock on the door. Sav and the doctor walked in with a cart. 

“Ready to get this over with?” asked Sav softly. Ellie nodded. The doctor walked around to the side of her bed. 

“This will be your last pelvic exam for the foreseeable future as long as you don’t have any problems,” she said. “That does not however, mean that you should hide any problems you’re having to avoid it, okay?” Ellie nodded. “And you remember what I said about the dilators.” Ellie nodded. 

“So…would you like to do the packing or remove your stitches first?” 

“Packing,” said Ellie. 

“Who do you want with you?” said the doctor. “Everyone?” Ellie nodded and looked away. “Okay.” Ellie squeezed her hand.

“Can Dina stay behind me?” Ellie whispered. The doctor nodded. Ellie slipped her pants off under the sheets, and Sav pulled the sheet up to her knees. Joel grabbed one hand and Tess the other. Ellie sunk down and her head rested on Dina’s knee.

“Legs up,” said the doctor. Ellie bent her legs. Ellie looked up at Dina. Dina smiled softly and brushed hair from her face. 

“You’re okay,” said Dina softly. Ellie nodded and shut her eyes. 

“Deep breath. Pressure,” said the doctor. Ellie flinched. Dina shushed her. “You’re going to feel my finger.” Ellie groaned. 

“Ow…” 

“Small pinch.” The back of Ellie’s head dug into Dina’s thigh. 

“Fuck…” she said softly. “Ow…ow…”

“Almost done…”

“Ow—what—” 

The door slid open right as the doctor started finishing up. 

“Er, hello,” said a man. “I’m looking to talk to Ellie Williams and ask her about what she thinks about James Smith pleading not guilty to sex trafficking?” 

Ellie jumped back into Dina, screaming. All the adults turned to him. Tess, who was closet to the door, jumped up, and shoved the man backwards. Joel stared at the door but didn’t move.

“Ellie. Calm down, baby girl. You’re safe. I don’t know how that happened, but it won’t happen again,” said Joel. “I swear.” Ellie shook her head. 

“Is he telling the truth?” asked Ellie.

“What?”

“Was he lying?” she shouted. Joel wouldn’t look at her. 

“Hey,” said Dina. “Let’s let the doctor get your stitches out first, okay?” Ellie sighed and leaned back.

“Alright. Let’s get out your stomach stitiches…”


	20. Ellie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for graphic violence and panic attacks and rape.
> 
> This chapter was a lot to write...
> 
> Lemme know what you think!

Ellie felt like she was floating and weighted about a ton at the same time. They found James, and he was pleading not guilty. They found James, and he was pleading not guilty. They found James, and he was pleading not guilty. They found James, and he—

 

“Ellie,” said Dina.  Ellie’s eyes snapped over to Dina. “It looked like we were losing you there for a second.” The soft pads of Dina’s fingers ran over Ellie’s cheeks. “You’re safe now. No one can come in and hurt you, Ellie.”

 

“The reporter did,” mumbled Ellie. Dina gave her a sympathetic smile.

 

“Joel and Tess are taking care of that right now. It won’t happen again,” said Dina. Ellie tried to sit up.

 

“Joel…I want Joel,” Ellie whined. Dina nodded.

 

“I can go get him,” said Dina.

 

“No!” said Ellie. She reached out and grabbed Dina’s wrist.

 

“Okay, okay. I’ll stay,” said Dina. “Shh…shh…shh.” Ellie nodded slowly and laid back. “Now it would be great to have a charged phone…” Ellie whined. “He’ll be back in a minute.” Ellie squeezed her eyes shut. Her head hurt. She wanted to pull off her skin. It was just…

 

“Ellie…Ellie…” Ellie blinked back to reality. Dina was still looking down at Ellie, rubbing the back of her hand. “Ellie, can I touch you? Will that help you feel better?” Ellie’s throat felt tight. Words couldn’t come out. They wouldn’t come out. Ellie clenched her eyes shut.

 

The door clicked open.

 

“Joel’s back, Ellie,” said Dina. Ellie reached out with her free hand. Joel grabbed it in his callous one. Joel kissed the back of hers.

 

“I’m sorry, Ellie. We were going to tell you later with Dr. Julien. That man…the one who helped the one who captured you was arrested and is pleading not guilty. And the police want to talk to you. Later. Not right now. Right now you can relax…

 

“I am so sorry that that man came in here. No one will ever do that again.” Ellie let out a small sob. She leaned off the side of the bed and retched. Her entire body shook. Dina rubbed her hand down her back.

 

“I j-just w-want this to b-be over,” Ellie said between sobs. Dina gently put her arm around Ellie’s belly, keeping her from falling off the bed. Dina rubbed up and down her back.

 

“Deep breaths, Ellie.”

 

“I-I c-can’t d-do t-this,” cried Ellie. Joel put a basin under her and wiped off the vomit from her face.

 

“Don’t worry about that now, baby girl,” said Joel. “Just focus on getting better, yeah?” Ellie took a shaky breath.

 

“We’re right here for you, Ellie,” said Dina. Ellie slowly relaxed, and Dina pulled her back. Ellie tucked her face against Dina’s neck. “I got you, love. I got you…” Ellie sniffled.

 

There was a knock on the door. Joel stood up.

 

“I’ll get it,” he said. He cracked open the door and walked out. He was only gone for a few seconds before he poked his head back in and gestured for Dina.

 

“I’ll be right back,” she said. She kissed Ellie on the forehead and walked out. Ellie squeezed her eyes shut.

 

“Grand theft…what do you mean? It’s my car!” said Dina, muffled by the door. “I have the papers. I know where they are if you let me…Of course I’ll come with…Can I…? Please?” The door opened back up. Dina walked back to Ellie.

 

“I have to go sort things out with my mom,” said Dina. “I’ll be back in a couple of days, tops.” Ellie shook her head.

 

“No…please…” Ellie started crying again.

 

“I am so sorry, Ellie. I don’t have a choice. I love you, okay? I’ll be back soon,” said Dina.  

 

And Ellie couldn’t think. She couldn’t breathe. Dina was leaving. She was being taken away.

 

“No, no, no, no,” said Ellie. No one noticed as she scrambled to her feet. Pain shot up her legs to her still fractured spine. She stumbled out of the room and grabbed Dina’s shoulder. She pulled her behind her.

 

“No,” said Ellie. “Don’t take her. Don’t take her, please.”

 

“Ellie…” said Dina. Ellie shook her head.  

 

“Hey, Ellie, baby girl,” said Joel. “It’ll be okay. Dina will be fine.” Ellie shook her head.

 

“I’m sorry, officers. She’s had a rough day,” said Joel. “Ellie, come back to your room, please.” Ellie shook her head.

 

“Don’t let them take her, Joel,” said Ellie. Dina walked over and hugged her.

 

“Ellie, relax. I’ll be fine. There’s a little misunderstanding,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head. She dug her fingers into Dina’s shirt. Dina kissed her forehead. “I’ll be back soon.”  

 

One of the officers reached over and pulled Ellie away from Dina.

 

All of the sudden, Ellie wasn’t in rehab. _She was back in the basement. David had a hand on her wrist. He pushed her against the wall._

_“I told you not to fight me, whore,” said David. “It’s gonna be a lot less fun for you if you put up a fight. He started pulled down her ratty jeans. “Of course, I’ll have fun either way.” He slammed her head against the wall. He unzipped his pants and positioned himself. But Ellie wasn’t going to take it. She could hear Riley breathing hard. She didn’t want her to see this. She didn’t want her to be trapped here._

_Ellie lifted up her leg and kicked him right in the dick. He fell forwards. Ellie smashed him in the nose._

_“Riley, run!” She pushed him face down and went to stomp on his head._

_“You little bitch!” he said. He grabbed her by the foot and threw her down. And she knew what should happen. She should have been knocked out and raped. But Instead…_    

 

She was hitting him over and over again. The police officer screamed, but Ellie couldn’t stop. He was going to hurt her. He was going to hurt Riley—Dina…

 

“Ellie, stop!” A firm hand wrapped around Ellie’s middle.

 

“No! Let me go! Let me go! You fucker!”  

 

“Ellie Williams! It’s me. It’s Joel. It’s your daddy. You are safe.” Tears and snot dripped down her face as she strained towards where the officer fell. Ellie slumped down. She could hear Joel apologizing in the background as he picked her up and pulled her to his chest, putting her back into her room and pressing the call button.

 

Joel left her on the bed and continued talking to the police officers. Ellie didn’t care. Dina was gone. Dina was gone. Dina was—

 

Dr. Julien was kneeling in front of Ellie. Ellie blinked.

 

“You’ve had a rough day, huh?” she asked softly. Ellie sniffled.

 

“It was supposed to be the start of…getting better,” said Ellie quietly. Dr. Julien nodded.  

 

“Setbacks happen,” said Dr. Julien. Ellie sniffled. There was a loud noise and Ellie jumped, and her arm flew out, nearly hitting Dr. Julien.

 

“S-sorry,” said Ellie. Dr. Julien gave her a soft smile. “Everything hurts. I just…I want Dina…I want…I want Riley back. I want my five years back.” Ellie let out a wet breath.  She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t breathe. Everything was collapsing on her. She couldn’t breathe.

 

“I think you deserve a rest.” Ellie nodded.  “Do you want something to help you sleep?” Ellie nodded. Dr. Julien grabbed a syringe off of the night table. “Roll on your side. It goes in your hip.” Ellie nodded. She winced as the needle pierced her butt. Ellie took a slow deep breath. She rolled back over. Dr. Julien patted her shoulder.

 

“We’ll talk about this later when you’re calm, okay?” Ellie sniffled and nodded.

 

“Where’s Joel?” she whispered.

 

“He’ll be back soon. Deep breaths,” said Dr. Julien. Ellie closed her eyes…    


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another longer one...no Ellie in this chapter. A lot of Dina and Joel bonding...

Dina rubbed her face as the police looked through the documents.

“This seems to be in order,” he said. Dina nodded. 

“That’s what I told you,” said Dina. 

“So what happened?” said the officer. “Did she get confused…did she…?” Dina shook her head. She looked over at Joel in the corner of the room. He nodded.

“Um, I’m moving out,” she said. “Could I have someone come and make sure she lets me in to grab my things?” The officer nodded.

“Of course. We’ll send someone with you,” he said. “Do you need a ride?” Dina shook her head. 

“No. I just want someone to open the door for me and make sure that she doesn’t close it,” said Dina. The officer nodded. 

“Would you like to press charges for—” Dina shook her head. 

“No. I just want to move,” said Dina. The officer nodded. 

“I’ll send a car to the address your mother gave us,” he said. Dina got up.

“Thank you,” she said. She walked out. Joel patted Dina on the shoulder. 

“I’m sorry about all this,” he said. Dina shook her head. 

“It’s fine.” They walked out of the precinct together. 

“Do you wanna pick up your car or move first?” he asked. 

“Move,” said Dina. They walked into the car and shut the door. “Thank you. Again. So much.” Joel shook her head. “It’s no problem. I can’t let you out on the streets. Dina nodded. Joel backed out.

Dina pressed her head to the glass of window. Joel reached over and patted her shoulder. 

“Thank you for coming with.” Joel glanced over and shook her head. 

“Ellie’s sleeping off her meds. And the Doc is with her,” said Joel. “She’ll be fine for an hour or two.” Joel followed the instructions yelled by the phone. “You know, you don’t owe me anything for this, right, kid?” Dina shrugged. “No. Your mom did a shitty thing. You need somewhere to stay because of that. I offered. You’ve done enough for us. And even if you didn’t…I lost one kid…I’m not letting another kid go.” Dina nodded. 

“Thank you,” said Dina. 

“Stop saying thank you. You deserve this,” said Joel. “You’re still young. And what you did was a little shitty, but this isn’t how your mom should’ve dealt with that. You’re a kid. You’re a good kid. You are allowed to make mistakes, especially for what is an unselfish reason.” Dina nodded.

Joel pulled up to the house. 

“How do you want to do this?” asked Joel. Dina sighed. 

“Stand by the garage door. Please,” said Dina. “I’m going to hand you things.”

“Do you have anything big?” Dina shrugged. 

“A TV…uh…I was going to bring a chair?” said Dina. Joel nodded. 

“Whatever you want,” he said. He grabbed a tarp from the back of the truck and laid it in the bed. SHe watched the police officer look over at her and knock on the door. 

“Hi, mom,” said Dina. “I’m moving out. Please let me grab my stuff.” Dina walked in.

“Are you serious?” demanded her mom. 

“You reported me for stealing my own car!” snapped Dina. 

“You wouldn’t answer me!” her mom replied. 

“I left a note. I texted you before my phone battery died. You didn’t need to go in to work today,” said Dina. 

“You can’t disappear. I don’t care what you did. You have a responsibility to your family. You need to stop running off with strangers,” said her mom.

“At least the ‘strangers’ care about me,” said Dina. She walked into her room and started throwing stuff into her duffle bag and shoving stuff into her backpack.

“That’s not true! Of course, I care about you! I’m your mother,” said her mom.

“You threaten to kick me out of the house every time I express views different than yours and say I’ve been brain washed by the liberals,” said Dina.

“That’s because you have!” said her mom. “I thought I taught you better than that.”

“Why does not agreeing with you mean that I’m brain washed?” said Dina. “That doesn’t make any sense!” Dina shook her head and walked out to the truck.

“Joel,” said Dina. Joel clapped and opened his hands. Dina threw her bags to him and threw them into the bed of the truck. Dina went to the basement and started grabbing a box and throwing her books in them. 

“If you do this, you can’t come back,” said her mom. 

“Okay,” said Dina. “Then I won’t.” She grabbed another box and started filling that up. She kept dragging stuff up to Joel in the truck.

“I’m serious,” said her mom. “I won’t let you come back.” Dina nodded and threw another back into the truck. 

“Cool,” she deadpanned. Then she turned around and faced her mom. “I’m sorry. I love you, Momma.” 

Dina turned and got into the truck.

“We can go now,” said Dina. Joel nodded and pulled out of the driveway. They drove in silence for several minutes.

“I’m sorry this went down like this,” said Joel. Dina shrugged. 

“It’s fine…” Dina paused. “Shit, I need to get my mom’s name off of my bank account and…”

“Okay, okay,” said Joel. “How about we get to the house? You can sit and think and plan everything out for your next move. You can stay with us as long as you need, okay?” Dina nodded. 

“Could we stop and see Ellie? I want to make sure she’s okay,” said Dina. Joel sighed. 

“You’re worse than me, kid. She’s asleep. She won’t be up and remember you’re okay until tomorrow. We have time for you to go home and get settled,” he said. Dina nodded. 

“Okay,” she said. 

“Alright? Good,” he said. They pulled into the driveway.

“I can help you move stuff. I’ll set up the office for you, but for now you can relax in…Ellie’s room,” he said. 

“Are you sure?” asked Ellie. He nodded.

“I mean, Ellie’s gonna be back to using it soon,” he said with a soft grin. Dina nodded. 

Joel unlocked the door, and Dina entered in with some of her bags.

“Up and to the right,” said Joel. He helped her carry some other boxes and buckets in. There were two rooms and a bathroom at the end of the hall.

“You can sit in here,” he said, opening a door. “Kitchen’s downstairs if you want anything to eat or drink.” Dina nodded.

Ellie’s room was somehow nothing and exactly like how Dina expected it. The ceiling was covered in those glow in the dark stars with model rockets ad satellites hanging off the ceiling. There were plaster with Savage Starlight, Doctor Who, and several Hunger Games posters. There was a full bookshelf next to a messy dresser, and a TV with an older model of Xbox and a modern PS4. An N64 sat with it’s wires wrapped up and two controls next to it on her desk. 

On shelfs next to the bookshelf, stood several Savage Starlight figures, some in boxes, some not. There were several nicely boxed and N64 cartridges in plastic protectors. Small models and miniatures also lined most empty surfaces in her room.

“Nerd,” said Dina quietly. 

“Shit!” Dina walked to the other room.

“Sorry,” said Joel. He shook his hand. “I dropped the damn futon.” 

“Need help?” asked Dina. He shook his head. Joel went back to the futon.

“Um…hey Joel…I was just wondering, is Tess not staying here?” asked Dina. Joel shook his head. 

“Nah. She’s…she’s at a hotel,” said Joel. 

“Sorry,” she said. Joel shook his head.

“Tess and I have had our differences…it’s better she’s not here…” Dina nodded. 

“Ellie can tell something’s up.” Joel sighed and scratched his head. 

“Yeah...I need to talk to her about that,” he said. “I’m sorry you got dragged into the mess.” Dina smiled.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” she said. “I mean it….this is probably the best place for me to be.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised fluff, but honestly, this is still pretty intense.

“I’ve had the nurse call me and lemme know how Ellie’s doing,” said Joel. “And she’s been in and out of it the whole night. They’ve mostly been able to keep her calm…” Dina looked over at Joel.

“Look, I don’t like it either. But I’m paying a lot of money for this facility, so they damn well better be able to take care of her for a night while we both get some sleep, yeah?” he said. Dina nodded. 

They pulled into the facility, checked in, and walked past the game room, the cafeteria, and the offices to the dorms. They got to Ellie’s room. Something was off. Dina could feel it. Ellie was laying on her side, with an empty look in her eyes. She could see Sav talking softly to her. Sav looked over when Joel and Dina got to the door. 

“Hey, look who’s here,” she said. Ellie’s eye sluggishly moved to the door and widened. 

“Dina,” she said softly. “You’re…you’re okay!” Dina smiled. 

“Yep. Just like I said, I’m back,” said Dina. Ellie sniffled. Ellie sat up and reached out. Dina walked over and threw her arms around her shoulder and sobbed into her neck. Dina rubbed her back and shushed her. “Oh, I got you. I’m so sorry I left, Ellie. No one was going to hurt me. I was coming right back.” Ellie shook her head. 

“Everyone t-takes me away or t-takes a-away the p-people I l-love,” sobbed Ellie. Dina shook her head. 

“No. No one is getting taken away. You are safe and so brave, and we are all here for you,” said Dina. She kissed the top of Ellie’s head. Ellie looked over at Joel. She sobbed harder. 

“I d-don’t w-want t-to h-have t-to testi-testify,” Ellie continued. “But he sells-he sells…” 

“Okay, hey, take it easy,” said Joel. 

“You don’t have to worry about that right now, okay?” said Dina. Ellie sniffled.

“I’m sorry,” whined Ellie. “I’m pa-pathetic. It’s not…I’ve been through…and it…” Dina shushed her and gently rocked her. Ellie closed her eyes and breathed in slowly through her nose. Joel rubbed her back. 

“Thank you,” muttered Ellie. Dina shook her head. 

“Don’t thank me. I want to do this, Ellie,” said Dina. “That’s what friends are for.” Ellie squeezed Dina tighter. 

“Thank you,” said Ellie again. Dina nodded. Ellie sniffled and rubbed her nose. “Can we go for a walk?” Dina chuckled. 

“I mean, you’re not supposed to be walking but I can push you around in a wheelchair,” said Dina. Ellie nodded. 

“I wanna get out of this room,” said Ellie. Dina nodded. Joel pulled a wheelchair from behind a door. Dina help Ellie into the chair. 

“It’s cold. Want a sweater?” Ellie nodded. Dina pulled it over Ellie’s head. Dina pulled a blanket off the bed and tucked it around Ellie’s waist. Ellie snorted. 

“Really?” she said. 

“I don’t want you to get sick,” said Dina. Ellie rolled her eyes.

“I’ll wait here,” said Joel. Ellie nodded. Dina pulled her into the hall. Ellie pulled the blanket up to her neck. Dina smiled at the people they passed in the hall. Ellie slumped down lower. 

“You’re gonna hurt your back,” said Dina. Ellie stuck her tongue out at her. 

“Thanks, mom,” muttered Ellie. Dian rubbed her neck. 

“Sorry.” Ellie shrugged. 

Dina followed the signs to the yard. Ellie scanned her bracelet, and Dina her pass as they walked out the door. 

Ellie closes her eyes as the cold hair hits her face. She shivers.

“You okay?” asked Dina. Ellie nodded. 

“I haven’t been outside since…” Dina nodded and squeezed her shoulder

The park was empty, because it was cold and gray out. The playground was covered in leaves but looked new and well kept.

“When you’re allowed to walk around again, we should try it out. I fucking miss playing in playgrounds,” said Dina. Ellie smirked. 

“Yeah…” Dina walked around and knelt in front of her. 

“Are you okay? Is this too much?” asked Dina. Ellie shrugged and shook her head.

“Everything is too much,” said Ellie, rubbing her face. “I don’t know…I really wanna be normal, but I don’t know how…” Ellie sniffled and looked up at Dina. “Don’t tell me normal isn’t real. You know what I mean.” Dina snorted. 

“I wasn’t going to. I know you better than that,” said Dina. Ellie smirked. “You’ll get better, Ellie.” Ellie shook her head. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think it can get much worse.” Ellie let out a small laugh. “You’ve gone through so much. You have survived all this…this shit. You deserve to be happy. You’ll be happy. You just have to keep going, okay? I’ll be here. Joel and Tess will too.” Ellie nodded.

“It’s really hard,” said Ellie. “Every day, I wake up and…for a second I feel like I’m back there. That I’m trapped. Riley died. And…it’s just…hard.” Dina nodded. 

“I have no idea what it’s like to be you. And I am so sorry you’ve been through all of this,” said Dina. 

“I’m happy he didn’t kill me,” said Ellie. “I’m happy I could come back. Joel didn’t lose another daughter.” Her voice cracked. “I met you.” Dina couldn’t help herself and wrapped her arms around Ellie. “I want to be a normal teenager. I want to feel like I’m safe.” Dina shushed her softly. 

“I’m sure it will get easier,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head. 

“Things have always been hard,” said Ellie. “I just wanna be able to relax.” Dina rubbed circles on her shoulder. She touched their foreheads together.

“Have you told Dr. Julien about this?” asked Dina. “Because I care about you. And I really want to be there for you, but this is way over my head. I can hold you and tell you that you are loved and cared for, but you should really tell your doctor.” Ellie nodded and sniffled. 

“Yeah. It’s hard,” said Ellie. Dina nodded. 

“Can I kiss you?” asked Dina. Ellie nodded. Dina gently pressed her lips to Ellie’s. “You can figure this out. We’re going to be okay.” Ellie nodded. 

“Can we go back inside? I’m kind of cold,” said Ellie. Dina nodded. 

“Yeah. Me too,” said Dina. She walked around and pushed the chair inside. “Are you tired? Do you wanna nap? Try to do some homework?” 

“I just wanna try to relax,” said Ellie. 

“So cartoons and cuddles?” asked Dina. Ellie smiled bashfully and turned a little red.

“Yeah…” Dina squeezed her arm. 

As they neared the room, Dina could hear shouting. 

“What did you want me to do, Joel?” demanded Tess. “We thought she was dead. The police wouldn’t help. They thought she was a troubled and ran away. We looked for over a year. There was nearly no chance she was alive. I love her, and I’m so glad she’s back, but I had to move on, Joel. I never stopped thinking about you or her, but I thought…I thought I’d lost both of you.” 

“You could have checked in,” Joel snapped. “Ever. It’s been five years. She was gonna want both of us when she was found. She was terrified. You’re the best female role model she’s ever had! You’re the best mother figure she’s ever had. She was kidnapped. She was raped. She needed you! I needed you, and I couldn’t find you!”

Dina looked down at Ellie. Her face was pale. She gripped onto the arms of the chair. 

“Ellie, are you okay?” said Dina. Ellie’s jaw twitched, and she bit the inside of her cheek. “Ellie…” There was a vacant look in her eyes. Dina reached out to touch her, and Ellie jerked backwards.

“Shit. Sorry,” said Dina. Ellie pressed her hands over her ears and sunk down into her chair. 

“I didn’t think we were going to find her,” said Tess. “I thought she was dead. Or trafficked to some…third world country.”

“But that didn’t happen!” said Joel. 

“And you think that living the last 5 years of your life waiting for your daughter to come back was what you needed to do? You nearly drank yourself to death, Joel. No one could help you! Imagine how much that would devastate her!”

“I didn’t forget her!”

“Neither did I. But I didn’t ruin myself stuck I the past. Ellie loved you—Ellie loves you. Remember what happened when she found out about Sarah?” There was a long silence. 

Dina sighed and swung open the door. 

Tess looked angry, and Joel looked like he was about to cry. They both looked over at the girls. 

“Did you hear—” Joel’s voice cracked.

“Everything,” said Dina. Ellie still had her hands clamped over her ears. She started blankly ahead. Dina glares at the adults. “You’ve upset her,” she hissed.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long. 
> 
> Another chap!! Tell me what you think!!

“Ellie,” said Joel. Ellie shook her head. 

“Are you guys seriously fighting?” 

“Ellie…” said Tess. Ellie shook her head again. 

“No! Don’t do this here!” said Ellie. “I just…I just…I wanna…” Ellie squeezed her hands harder over her ears. Ellie sighed. “Get out.” 

“What?” asked Joel. 

“If you’re going to act like this, leave,” said Ellie. Her voice cracked.

“Baby girl…” said Joel. 

“I didn’t want you to ruin your life over me,” said Ellie. “I want you to be happy. Sarah would want you to be happy. Living your life isn’t the same as giving up on me, Joel.” She turned to Tess. “Why did you lecture him here…” Ellie rubbed her nose on her sleeve. “Leave. Both of you.”

“Ellie, I’m not leaving,” said Joel.

“Leave!” Ellie screamed. 

“Hey.” Dina jumped. Sav was standing behind them. “How about we all give Ellie some space to calm down? Would you like that Ellie?” Ellie grabbed Dina’s sleeve. 

“Dina stays.” Sav nodded and nudged Dina forward.

“Joel, Tess, give us a minute.” They nodded and squeezed past them out.

“Sorry, baby girl,” mumbled Joel. Ellie’s shoulder twitched. 

“Shut up,” she snapped. 

“Hey…” said Dina. Ellie squeezed her eyes shut. 

“Let’s get you into bed,” said Sav. Ellie nodded. 

“I don’t feel good,” Ellie mumbled. 

“Well, you got pretty worked up,” said Sav. She helped Ellie into bed. She pulled her stethoscope from around her neck. “Take it easy.” She pressed it to Ellie’s chest. Ellie squeezed her eyes shut. 

“I don’t want them to fight over me,” said Ellie. “I wanted them to still be happy. Joel had Tess. He was alone after Sarah died…” Dina nodded and squeezed her hand. 

“Take some nice deep breaths for me, Ellie,” said Sav. Ellie took a couple shaky breaths. Dina smiled at her encouragingly. Sav finished up taking her vitals.

“Do you want something for your headache?” asked Sav. Ellie shook her head. “Press the call button if you need me.” Sav left. 

Ellie reached out for Dina. Dina sat down and cuddled up against her.

“See? Things are never going to be okay,” said Ellie. Dina sighed and shushed her. She had no reply.  
***********************************************************************************  
The curtains swooshed open, and light poured into the room.

“Good morning, girls.” Dina blinked awake. Ellie mumbled and whined. “I know you’ve had a rough couple days…” Dina sat up and pushed her hair from her face, watching Sav bustle around the room. “However, Dr. Julien still thinks today should be your first day for class.” Ellie was wide awake now. She blanched. 

“No,” said Ellie quietly.

“You just have to go for about an hour or so,” said Sav. “One lesson. There’s only five other girls, all around your age.” Ellie shook her head and grabbed Dina’s arm before she could get up.

“Dina…” Ellie whined. Dina’s face softened. 

“Hey,” said Dina. “You’re okay. It’ll be fine.” Ellie shook her head. 

“I don’t want to,” said Ellie. Dina looked over at Sav. Sav sighed and knelt down in front of Ellie. 

“Dr. Julien just wants you to try and sit with them. If you’re uncomfortable then you can leave. It won’t be a big deal.” Ellie sniffled. 

“Honestly, El, I have to go to classes too,” said Dina. “So I’m gonna go and take a shower and go to class, and after we can hang, okay? You go to class, you do some therapy…we can nap.” Ellie smiled softly. “And you can text me if you wanna talk before then, okay? It will only be a few hours. I can call Joel and Tess for you.” Ellie shook her head. 

“I can call them if I need them,” said Ellie. Dina nodded. 

“Okay.” She kissed the top of Ellie’s head. “See you soon.”   
*****************************************************************************  
“Earth to Dina…” Dina snapped back up to Jessie. 

“You okay?” he asked. Dina nodded. 

“Yeah. Sorry. I was, um, just thinking,” said Dina. Jessie scooped up some salad and looked at her skeptically.

“You sure?” said Jessie. “This doesn’t have anything to do with that girl?”

“Her name is Ellie, Jessie,” said Dina. “She’s, um, she’s pretty great. But things have been pretty hard for her. She’s scared for class.” Jessie nodded. 

“You like her a lot, huh?” said Jessie. 

“Shut up,” said DIna. Jessie shrugged. 

“I’m just saying. There’s nothing wrong with it,” he said. 

“Yes there is,” said Dina. “She’s fragile. She can’t…she can’t be what I want her to be. And that’s fine.. She’s been through so much. She doesn’t need a girlfriend.” Jessie shrugged. 

“Maybe she wants one,” said Jessie. Dina shook her head. 

“Want it or not, it won’t end well,” said Dina. Jessie shook his head.

“You won’t know unless you try,” he said.

“I’ll know now, because I’m not stupid,” said Dina. “Drop it.” He held up his hands in defeat.

“Fine,” he said. “Whatever. I gotta go. See you, Dina.” Dina sighed and rubbed her face. God, why did she feel like she was constantly screwing all this up?  
*******************************************************************************  
Dina knocked on the door. 

“Come in.” She opened the door to see Tess sitting next to Ellie, who was sitting, curled up on her side. 

“Ellie…? What’s the matter?” Tess shook her head slowly. 

“It hurts…I don’t want it.” Dina sat down at the end of her bed. “God, fuck this is so stupid…” 

“Ellie…do you wanna tell me what happened?” said Dina. Ellie shrugged. 

“I started…I started my period. I haven’t had it…since he starved me…I don’t…it really hurts…and I feel bad,” said Ellie. Dina shook her head. 

“Hey. It’s okay,” she said. Ellie shook her head. “No. You are fine. It’s okay to be upset.” 

“I hate my body…” mumbled Ellie. “I just feel so weird…all the time…” Dina reach over and wrapped her arms around her. 

“Easy,” mumbled Dina. 

“Last time I got my period was before…I got pregnant.” Dina felt her heart shatter. 

“Oh, love,” she said. Tess reached and ran her hand through Ellie’s hair. Ellie opened and closed her mouth.

“I was like…fifteen,” said Ellie. She rubbed her nose. “He was disgusted with me. He wanted to…and then he made me…” Ellie shook ger head and sniffled. Dina sighed.

“I am so sorry,” said Dina. She reached her hands around and squeezed Ellie as she hyperventilated. Dina rocked her back and forth. 

Tess smiled at them softly. She rubbed Ellie’s arm. 

“I know sometimes it’s hard. I’m so sorry you went through this. I’m so sorry that I gave up on you. You deserve so much better,” said Tess. Ellie cried harder.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One step forward, two steps back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken me so long to update. My friends have been having a rough time, and I've had classes and work and...I bought a $300 lego set. Whoops.
> 
> I know it's a little short. I hope you like it. Lemme know what y'all think.

There was a knock on the door. Ellie didn’t move. She buried her face even farther into Dina’s shirt. Dina scratched her back. 

“Baby girl. It’s Joel. It’s Daddy. I’ve come to apologize,” he said from behind the door. 

“Do you want him to come in?” asked Dina. Ellie shrugged. She closed her eyes and pushed her hands over her ears. “Ellie?” Ellie shrugged. “Ellie?” Ellie nodded. 

“Joel, Ellie says you can come in,” said Dina. Tess bit her lip. Joel opened the door. His eyes were blood shot. 

“Hello, baby girl.” His voice shook. “I am so sorry.” Ellie peered out from Dina’s shoulder and leaned forward, throwing herself at her father. Joel hugged her back.

“I didn’t handle what happened to you very well. I knew you would be mad at me but…I thought you would never know. I can’t imagine what you went through. And god, I did. Sometimes I thought it might be better for you if you weren’t…” Joel shook his head. “But I’m so glad you’re back. I’m so sorry we were fighting. It’s silly. We have you back. There’s no need to argue. What’s done is done. All that matters is that you are back. All the other problems are easy fixes.” Ellie sniffled. 

“You were never the reason we split up. You were the reason we got together in the first place. And you’re the kid anyway. It doesn’t matter. Our relationship shouldn’t worry you,” said Joel. “We can handle our own problems.” Joel kissed the top of Ellie’s head again. Ellie white-knuckled Joel’s shirt and let out a low sob. Dina stepped back and let Tess come in and join the other two. 

Dina blinked back tears. After finding Ellie alone in the ER, seeing her loved by her parents felt so…so much. 

“I juh-just…I just…I want-t to be safe,” Ellie cried into Joel’s shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry we argued in front of you. We were thinking about you. We were just thinking about us. We weren’t use to having you around anymore,” said Tess. Dina looked at the door and went to step out to give them some privacy. 

“No!” yelled Ellie. “Stay! Please…” Dina nodded. 

“Of course. I was just going to the bathroom,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head. 

“Yeah, get in here,” said Joel. He beckoned Dina over. She joined the hug pile. She felt Ellie’s arms slip away from her parents and onto her. 

“We got you, El,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head. 

“I don’t wanna go to classes,” sobbed Ellie. “I don’t-I don’t wuh-wanna…” Ellie crawled further into Dina, pushing away her parents and nearly knocking over Dina. 

There was a knock on the door. 

“Hello,” said Sav. She furrowed her eyebrows. “Is everything okay?” Joel looked over at her, terrified. “What’s wrong?” Dina fell back and pulled Ellie on her chest. 

“St-staring at me…made my skin itchy. I juh-st…I just…”

“Okay,” said Dina. “It’s okay.” Ellie shook her head. 

“Feel sick,” she mumbled. 

“Are you going to throw up?” asked Dina gently.

“No…” Ellie squeezed her eyes shut. “Just hurts…” Dina nodded and rubbed Ellie’s back. Sav walked over and knelt by Elle and Dina’s head. 

“I heard you had a rough time in class,” said Sav. “I’m really glad you tried.” Ellie sniffled and rubbed her nose into Dina’s shoulder. Dina hummed softly and pecked Ellie on the cheek. “Do you need anything?” Ellie let out a choked noise. 

“She hasn’t had lunch yet,” said Tess. Sav nodded.

“I’ll go grab something,” she said. Ellie huffed, and Dina ran a hand through her hair. 

“Don’t wanna eat,” said Ellie. Dina looked down at her and sighed. 

“It’ll make you feel better,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head. 

“I feel really…really bad,” said Ellie. She sniffled. “Wanna nap…” Dina pulled Ellie onto her chest. 

“Relax. Just take a nap. We can have dinner together later,” said Dina. Ellie grumbled softly. Dina smiled and kissed the top of her head. Ellie twitched. “Hey, what’s wrong?” 

“I wanted to do good. Fuck…I feel wrong…Dina…” 

“Alright, shh…shh…” Ellie’s hands dug into her shoulder. 

“I don’t want to be like this…I’m strong…” Dina rocked Ellie gently.

“You are so strong,” said Dina. “Don’t you dare forget that. You are so strong and brave. You’re doing really well. So good, love. Don’t be hard on yourself. This is hard. You are doing your very best.” Dina slid on the bed and pepper her face with gently kisses. 

“I don’t deserve this…” mumbled Ellie. 

“Shush,” said Dina. “You do.”

“I don’t ever think I…I don’t ever…” Ellie sniffled. “I can never lo-love you like you want me t-to.” Dina shushed her again. 

“You can love me like this. And I love it. We both have problems, love…Neither of us are perfect…” Ellie shook her head. 

“You’re so perfect…I just…every time…every time…” Ellie started coughing. 

“Take it easy, Ellie,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head. 

“I deserve this. I burden…I burden everyone I-I luh-love…I just…” Ellie pressed her hands up to her eyes.

“Ellie,” said Joel softly. “We talked about this. You aren’t burdening everyone. We want to be here. We’re happy to have you. All of us…” Ellie shook her head. 

“No. I’m useless. I’m dirty. I’m a burden. I’m only good for holes to fuck—”

“Ellie, no,” said Dina sternly. “Ellie, look at me.” Ellie shook her head. She sobbed. 

“I feel so bad all the time. Everyone tells me I’m worth it, but I’m not…I can’t believe…” Ellie gasped. 

The door opened.

“Ellie?” A tall, dark women walked in through the door. “It’s me, Dr. Julien. I want you to breathe. It’s all okay. You’re safe.” Ellie shook her head and pressed her hands even harder against her eyes. 

“No,” whined Ellie. “No, no, no…” Her breathing was coming faster and faster. 

“I’m going to ask your family to step out so we can relax,” said the doctor. “Okay?” Ellie shook her head. She didn’t have much of a choice before her eyes rolled back in her head and Sav ushered them out.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am alive. And yes I suck. Sorry it's taken so long...
> 
> I'm done with my semester of college, so when the mood strikes me, I'll update this sucker. I really want to finish it and not just let it fizzle off. 
> 
> As always lemme know what you think! 
> 
> (Also I'm thinking of a time skip in a chapter or two.)

 

Dr. Julien intimidated her. Dina knew it was silly. She was Ellie’s doctor. She was trying to help. But that still didn’t make Dina feel much better.

 

Ellie looked so small. She was curled up on her bed, her knees pressed to her chest. Her eyes were red and face was red and raw, like she had been rubbing it to much.

 

“Hello, Dina. I’m Dr. Julien,” she said. Dina nodded.

 

“Nice to meet you,” said Dina. She looked between Ellie and the doctor. Julien nodded at her. Dina sat down in front of Ellie, cross-legged.

 

“Can I…?” asked Dina. Ellie nodded. Dina brushed her hand up to Ellie’s face. “What’s up?” Ellie’s lip quivered.

 

“Can you tell her what you told me?” asked Julien.

 

“Wanted…want you…Dina,” mumbled Ellie. She buried her face into Dina’s shoulder. Dina rubbed soft circles on her back.  

 

“I wasn’t going to leave you,” said Dina. “I was just giving you space. I came back. I’ll come back.” Ellie shook her head.

 

“You have…please stay with…stay with me,” said Ellie.

 

“I’m not going to leave you,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head.

 

Julien looked over at Dina.

 

“I gave her something to help her calm down. She was making herself sick,” she said. “When she goes to sleep, I would like to speak with you.” Dina nodded. “I’ll talk with you later, Ellie. Get some rest.”

 

Ellie didn’t move from Dina’s chest as her doctor left. Dina rocked Ellie slowly back and forth.

 

“Hush…you’re okay,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head again.

 

“No…” Dina sighed and started humming.  Ellie gripped her harder.

 

“I know,” she said. “I know, Ellie…Relax…” Dr. Julien handed her a card.

 

“When Ellie calms down, come and talk to me,” Dr. Julien said. Dina nodded. “I gave her a pill to help her relax. She’ll fall asleep soon.” Dina nodded. Dr. Julien looked back down at Ellie. “Rest now. Someone will be back to check on you soon.” Ellie buried her face further into Dina.  Dina shushed her.

 

“You’re safe. You’re okay,” said Dina. Ellie wrapped herself around Dina tightly. Dina hummed softly.

 

“Breath in and out,” said Dina. “Slowly…I know it’s hard. I know that you’re not doing well, but it’s okay. You’ll get better. It’ll be hard, but we’ll all be here for you, okay? Okay?” Dina shushed her.  Ellie was still shaking.

 

“I don’t wanna—I don’t wanna leave…” she whined. “God, I-I just feel pathetic, but I can’t…I can’t…” Dina nodded.

 

“It’s okay. I’m sorry it’s too much,” said Dina. “Just…hey, you’re going to be okay, okay?” Ellie shook her head.

 

“Don’t leave me…I don’t want…” Ellie let out a scared noise.

 

“Okay,” said Dina. “That’s fine. I got you.”

 

“I’m sorry…I’m like this…” said Ellie. Dina nodded.

 

“Don’t apologize…”  she said. “You are okay. Well…You’re not okay, but you will be. I know it’s hard, but you…”  Dina shook her head. “I don’t know what to say anymore. I don’t know what to say. It’s shitty, and it sucks, and you deserve so much better, okay? You don’t deserve this.”

 

“I just wanna be happy,” said Ellie. She sniffled and rubbed her nose on her arm.

 

“I want you to be happy too,” said Dina. “I want us to be happy.” Ellie turned over to look at her.

 

“Us?” she asked. Dina nodded, glad that her question snapped Ellie out of her panic.

 

“Yeah. I like you, Ellie. If you have me, I’ll help you and be with you however—” Ellie popped forward and kissed Dina. Dina froze. Ellie started back.

 

“Sorry. I just…” Dina leaned in and kissed her back.

 

“I’m not going to leave you,” said Dina. “I, fuck, I would never. I’m falling for you, so hard and fast, and if you’re ready, I’ll be ready for whatever you want. Kissing. More than that some day. Less than that. Just please, tell me what you need. I want to give it to you.” They broke apart as tears dripped down her face.

 

“How can you love me when I’m like this?”

 

“You mean amazing? There’s nothing wrong with you, Ellie. We all have baggage,” said Dina. “I want to hold hands and cuddle and go on dates and just…be with my smart-ass, kind, brave...you.” Ellie pressed her face into Dina’s chest.

 

“Stop…” she giggled. Ellie’s stomach growled. Dina poked her belly and tried not to worry about how thin Ellie felt.

 

“Can I grab something from the vending machine? It’ll be like, five minutes, tops,” said Dina. Ellie chewed on her lip. “Hey.” Dina brushed Ellie’s cheek.

 

“Yeah,” said Ellie. Dina smiled and kissed her forehead.

 

“Brave, girl,” said Dina.

 

“Shut up.” Ellie blushed.

 

Dina walked down the hall, digging through her wallet.

 

“Dina.” Dina looked up at Dr. Julien, standing right in front of her.

 

“Yes. Hello. I’m in a bit of a hurry,” said Dina stepping around her. Dr. Julien turned around to follow her.

 

“I need to talk to you about Ellie.” Dina stopped. “I think that you shouldn’t see her.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another new chap! Maybe one more before a time skip!
> 
> Lemme know what you think!!

“You want me to do what?” asked Dina indignantly. Dr. Julien flinched.

 

“I don’t mean forever,” Julien sighed. “Can we talk?”

 

“No,” said Dina. Julien sighed.

 

“I’m sorry that I said that to you like that,” said the doctor. “I was trying to get your attention. You have a good friendship with Ellie, and she does need your support. I appreciate that.” Dina crossed her arms and nodded.  “But…she needs to learn to be okay without you around.” Dina bit the inside of her cheek. “She depends on you for her emotional support. And it’s not healthy. You have your own life. You cannot always be there for her.” Dina nodded.

 

“That…makes sense,” said Dina. Dr. Julien nodded and smiled encouragingly. “I don’t want to abandon her.”

 

“I’m not asking you to do that,” said Dr. Julien. “Just reduce the number of hours you spend with her. And stop skipping class to come here.” Dina shrugged. “I understand if you don’t feel comfortable doing this. It’s just something I want to work on with her…knowing that giving her space doesn’t mean that she is going to be alone.” Dina nodded slowly.  

 

“I’d like to talk to her about it,” she said. “I can’t…I can’t just leave her hanging.” Julien nodded.

 

“No, of course,” she said. “It has been something that I have been trying to work on with her. She’s been wanting to invite you to a session.” Dina nodded.  

 

“Cool,” said Dina. “Yeah. Whatever Ellie needs.” Dina stepped back walking to the end of the hall.      

 

Dina ran to the vending machine.

 

Ellie was sitting at the edge of her bed when she got back.  

 

“Hey!” Dina rushed over. “No. I’m back. You don’t need to get up.”  Ellie slouched and relaxed.

 

“You said five minutes,” Ellie mumbled.  

 

“I know. Sorry,” said Dina. “I stopped to pee.” Ellie leaned back and relaxed.

 

“Sorry,” she said. “I did…I didn’t…” Dina leaned down and kissed her forehead.  

 

“Don’t apologize,” she said. Ellie grabbed Dina’s shirt and pushed her nose into her shoulder. She pulled Dina almost on top of her. Dina caught herself before she could crash into Ellie and hurt her back even more.

 

“Hey, but be careful, asshole,” teased Dina. “You’re still healing.” Ellie groaned. “Do you wanna sleep? They’ll leave us alone for a little bit after…”  Ellie shrugged. She turned around and pushed her face into Dina’s neck. Dina reached to rub her hand on Ellie’s back. Ellie started suckling on Dina’s neck. Her hands wandered down to Dina’s breast.

 

“C-can I…?”

 

“Yeah. If you want to,” said Dina. Ellie went back to Dina’s neck, her free hand gently grabbing and massaging one of Dina’s breast. Dina bit back a moan. Ellie’s hands were rough and awkward. She clearly hadn’t done this in a long time. It felt wonderful. Dina felt warm.

 

“Ellie…” Ellie left a warm trail of kisses down her neck. She started unbuttoning Dina’s shirt and kept going down. Dina’s eyes rolled back. “Jesus…Ellie…” Dina giggled. “Hey…you feel…it feels good. And it tickles.” Ellie moved farther down, fumbling with Dina’s bra.

 

“Hey, wait.” Ellie stopped and looked up at her. “Do you want to do this? Like are you sure? You can stop whenever and it’s fine if—”

 

Ellie scooted up and kissed Dina on the lips. She gently scratched Dina’s belly.

 

Dina’s hand drifted lower.

 

“Can I touch your butt?” she asked. Ellie yanked Dina’s hand to her hip. “Oh. Hot. Oh!” Dina grunted as Ellie went back to kissing her boob. She ravaged her. Ellie’s hands pulled on her waistband and yanked it down, pushing her on her back. Dina giggled.

 

“Woah, hey, slow down,” said Dina. Ellie went to push down Dina’s pants. “Ellie, hey, no.” Dina grabbed her wrist and pulled them back. Ellie jerked back and looked up at her. Tears dripped down her face. “Ellie, what’s the matter?” Dina pulled herself from under Ellie and buttoned her shirt back up.

 

“Ellie, baby. Was that too much?” asked Dina. “I’m so sorry. We got a little carried away, okay?” Ellie shook her head and pressed her hands against her temples.

 

“Ellie, whatever you’re thinking is okay,” said Dina. “No judgement here. Just tell me what you’re thinking.”

 

“I-I-I…just wanna…” Ellie stuttered. “I want to, but I can’t…”  

 

“Hey, there’s no rush. We haven’t even labeled things yet. If you’re not ready, that’s fine. I’m not sure if I’m ready yet,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head and rocked back and forth.

 

“Shit,” mumbled Dina. “Ellie…” Dina reached over and touched Ellie’s shoulder. She jumped back. “Shit. Do you want me to get someone?” Ellie blinked and shook her head. “Please talk to me.” Ellie shook her head.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said. Dina shook her head.

 

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about,” said Dina. “There’s nothing for you to be upset about.” Ellie shook her head.

 

“I didn’t…I don’t know…” Ellie sniffled and wiped her face.

 

“Ellie, shh… Can I touch you?” Ellie shook her head.

 

“Imma go to…bathroom,” she said. She got up and leaned along the wall, walking to the bathroom. The door shut behind her.

 

Dina flopped down on the bed and ran her hand through her hair.

 

“Dammit,” said Dina.  She didn’t mean for this to happen. She wasn’t ready. Ellie wasn’t ready. They were just messing around and Ellie started out. How was she supposed to know Ellie would start and then freak out? She could just… Ellie started it. She was the one who kept going farther than they had before… “Fuck.”  Dina pulled out her phone. She wanted to text someone. God, what was she going to tell Joel? Dina sighed again.

 

There was a loud thump and a shout from the bathroom. Dina sprung up.

 

“Ellie. Shit.” Dina scrambled to the bathroom. “Ellie, open the door. Now.”

 

“’M fine,” said Ellie. There was another noise.

 

“Ellie!”  The door didn’t open. Dina pushed against the door. “Ellie Williams! Open the goddamn door!” Dina rammed her shoulder into the door.

 

The chair holding the door locked rattled and fell to the floor. The door flew open.

 

Ellie was on her knees in the middle of the floor. Around her was the cracked remains of mirror, and a slowly growing puddle of blood…


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chap! Time skip at the end! Lemme know if you feel that it's satisfying!

Dina sat at the edge of the waiting room chair, her head in her hands. Ellie is going to be fine. Ellie is going to be fine. She just…hurt herself. Because of something she did…or didn’t do or…God, why did Ellie have to try something right now? Neither of them were ready? Ellie hadn’t even had a real friend in...fuck, ever? She was a foster kid and then she was adopted and then she was kidnapped…

 

Dina rubbed her face and looked up.

 

Tess sat down next to her.

 

“She’s alright,” said Tess. “Dr. Julian managed to calm her down, so she didn’t end up getting any sedatives. They’re x-raying her hand right now to check that nothing is broken.” Dina nodded.

 

“I’m so sorry,” said Dina. Tess nodded.

 

“Ellie wouldn’t tell me much, but she did tell me it wasn’t your fault. And that she’s sorry she freaked out,” said Tess.

 

“I’m so mad. I’m just scared…she just…I just…” Dina shook her head. Tess grabbed Dina’s hand and squeezed it.

 

“Ellie…really cares about you. She’s just struggling…constantly. And it’s very hard for her to get better. But she’s doing her best,” said Tess. Dina nodded.

 

“I know. It’s still hard,” said Dina.  Tess smiled at her and patted her hand.

 

“She’s going to spend some time in a quiet room after this, so you should head home,” said Tess. “She needs some time to rest.” Dina nodded haltingly. “You want to see her?” Dina nodded again. “Ten minutes.” Dina watched her leave.

 

Dina opened her phone. She’d been spending so much time with Ellie that she really hadn’t had time to do anything other than school and very few hours of work study. She was barely making enough to pay her car bills. If it weren’t for Joel paying for food and “forgetting” to charge her rent…

 

Maybe Dina did really need to get her shit together. She needed to hang around with her classmates again…work more hours…maybe the space would be god for the both of them. Ellie could use some more time with her peers. She could stop using Dina to avoid her support groups. They would feel less pressure to move fast if they weren’t ready. Maybe something like this wouldn’t have happened if Dina had…

 

No. It was no use. Things happen. And we have to move on. They were the way they were. And that’s okay. Dina shook her head. It was no use dwelling on it.

 

Dina opened her email and messaged her behavioral psychology study group.                                                    

*********************************************************************************

It was Joel who came in several minutes later. He had that stressed smiled on his face that seemed to be a permanent fixture.

 

“Come on, kid,” said Joel.  “There’s a two-way mirror in the room that she’s in. You can look, but everyone thinks it’s best if you don’t talk to her right now. She’s not upset at you. She just needs to sort through some things. She’s mad at herself. It’s…she’s going to spend a lot of time with therapy.” Dina nodded.

 

“If that’s what’s best,” said Dina. Joel nodded and clapped her on the shoulder.

 

“I know it’s not the best,” said Joel. “But it’s what she needs. It’s probably what you both need.” Dina nodded. He was right. It still sucked. “Now c’mon.” He gestured for her to follow him.

 

They walked down through the increasingly quiet and dim hallways. There were long windows along the walls. Joel stopped outside room 303. He pulled open the blinds.

 

Ellie was on a bed in the middle of the room. A doctor was doing her stitches on her hand as Tess stood, blocking her view of her hand.

 

The room was small. The bed was bolted down and the colors were soft as the pillows and blankets around the room with a soft mat on the floor. Dr. Julian stood by her other side. She couldn’t quite hear them, but she saw the older women in the room chuckle and shake her head as Ellie gave them a cheeky grin.

 

“You’ve helped Ellie a lot,” said Joel. “And we all appreciate. I know you have problems with your own family but…I hope you realize you can think of us as family…even if it’s a little weird because you are a little romantically involved with my daughter.” Joel smirked. Dina nodded.

 

“Thank you.” Joel shook his head.

 

“I don’t need a thank you. You’re a great kid. You deserve it,” he said. Dina nodded and leaned on Joel’s shoulder.

 

“We’re hoping Ellie will either be home for Christmas or we can take her home,” said Joel. “And obviously you’re more than welcome to send Christmas with us. I know it’s still a little while off, but we’ve been thinking…” he said.  Dina nodded.

 

“Thank you,” said Dina again.

 

“You’re not allowed to thank me anymore, kid,” said Joel.

Dina went to her study group. She went to the last five meetings of the psychology club of the semester.

 

She spent all time in the library, listening to music loud and trying not to think about Ellie being alone. But she wasn’t alone.

 

Twice a week, Joel would give updates on Ellie. She was going to group therapy, she was studying for her GED, SAT, and ACT to try to get into college.

 

She’d been learning to walk again. She still suffered with a lot of pain while she walked and sat up straight for too long.  But she was improving…

 

Without Dina. Dina felt a tightness in her gut. She missed her. It ached in her soul, in her bones. She could _feel_ herself physically missing Ellie.     

 

So she spent all her time studying and…Dina didn’t even know. She didn’t want to say she was dependent on Ellie. She didn’t want to be…but she still missed her.

 

And finals finally came…after weeks of studying. And for a week and a half, she finally was really distracted. No Ellie trouble, no mom trouble, no coming up with lies to tell her dad. Joel made sure that she ate and slept and otherwise left her alone to spend days in the school library.

 

But he must have been paying attention because when she finally got out of her last final, she received a test.  

 

_Everything is okay. Come to Ellie’s room at rehab. She misses you._

 

She misses her. She misses her. Dina smiled and closed her eyes looking up to make a deep breath before getting into her car.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another new chap! Lemme know what you think! More fluff coming up!

She opened the door to Ellie’s room.

 

“Dina!” Ellie jumped at her and fell into her.

 

“Ah! Hey,” said Dina. Don’t cry. She’s not going to cry. It’s been weeks. Ellie has gained weight. He can feel her softer.

 

“Can I kiss you?” asked Ellie. Dina nodded. She gave her a soft peck. Dina tried to control her goofy grin.  

 

“How are you doing?” Ellie stepped back and smiled at her, blushing furiously.

 

“Better. A lot, um, a lot better,” said Ellie.

 

“I’m glad,” said Dina. She pecked Ellie on the nose. “Your back is doing better?”

 

“Eh…” Ellie hobbled back to the armchair an sat down. She reclined herself slightly.

 

“Where’s…”

 

“At the like…parents of traumatized kids group therapy session,” said Ellie. Dina nodded.

 

“Um…” Ellie fidgeted. “I’m sorry that—”

 

“Don’t apologize for taking care of yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong,” said Dina. Ellie looked down at the gauze wrapped over the scar on her arm.

 

“I want…I want to try…if you want to…be romantic?” asked Ellie. Dina couldn’t contain her grin.

 

“Of course. If you want to try, I would love to try,” said Dina. Ellie nodded and looked down at her socks.

 

“Um…” Ellie sighed. “I feel dumb.”

 

“You’re not dumb,” said Dina. Ellie blinked.

 

“I just…would you…cuddle with me?” she asked. Dina smiled and shook her head.

 

“Is there enough room on there for me?” asked Dina, teasing. Ellie moved over and patted the very small space next to her. Dina rolled her eyes and jumped over next to her. Ellis smirked and reached over to the table.

 

“Tess and Joel got me this,” she said, plopping a Nintendo Switch down on Dina’s lap.

 

“Wow,” said Dina.

 

“Do you wanna play? I have Mario Kart,” said Ellie. Dina nodded. Ellie started it up and slid off the controllers.

 

“This new technology must be insane for you,” said Dina. Ellie shrugged. “I didn’t really thin about it. You’ve been…when you weren’t…”

 

“I was kidnapped when the iPhone 4 was new,” said Ellie. “And now…Ellie looked over at her 8th generation phone. “It’s pretty cool.” Ellie rubbed her nose and handed Dina a controller and started the game up. “Um, I was really big into gaming and…I really want to try out the PS4.” Ellie glanced at the console on her lap. “But, um, I think they figured something portable was nicer for me right now.”

 

“This is a total guess, but your favorite game is a PlayStation exclusive and super violent.” The tips of Ellie’s ears went red.

 

“Maybe,” she said. Dina nudged Ellie’s cheek with her nose.

 

“Nerd,” said Dina. Ellie drove off the edge of the map.

 

“Hey! Ass,” said Ellie. Dina stuck her tongue out. Ellie shoved her gently in the side.

 

Dina wasn’t exactly sure what happened, but all of the sudden, Dina was straddling Ellie as they kissed deeply, controllers forgotten.

 

“Oh my God,” said Dina. “I’m so horny.”  Ellie snorted.

 

“Me too,” said Ellie. Dina rubbed her nose on Ellie’s cheek, nibbling on her ear kissing down her neck.

 

“I’ve missed you so much,” said Dina between kisses. She stopped “Is this okay?” Ellie nodded.  

 

“Yeah…can I…touch?” said Ellie. Dina nodded. Ellie slid her hands down Dina’s lower back.

 

Ellie was softer now. She smelled clean and sweet. Her scars were softening and healing up, the lotion giving it a bit of an odd greasy feel. Dina knew her hands would smell like menthol after this.

 

Ellie rolled to her side and wrapped her legs around Dina’s. She buried her face in her chest.

 

“I, um,” said Ellie. “I was wondering if maybe…if you think it’s fun…” Dina kissed Ellie’s nose.

 

“What?” she asked.

 

“There’s an area for…like PT…they’ve been encouraging me to like…walk more ‘n stuff…and then there is this place that’s full of like…gymnastic type stuff. Um…”

 

“Are you inviting me to go and hang out with you?” asked Dina. Ellie nodded.

 

“Yeah.” Dina grinned.

 

“I mean, you have to show me where it is…”

*********************************************************************************

Dina somehow managed to get Ellie to use her walker. She grumbled all the way there, but grinned when they got to the room.

 

It was a huge gym-like room with a balance beam, trampolines, a small play structure, and what looked like some large spandex sheets hanging from the ceiling.

 

“Cool,” said Dina. Ellie smiled.

 

“Y-yeah,” said Ellie. Dina looked over.

 

“Wait, is that a ball pit,” said Dina. Before Ellie had a chance to answer Dina ran over. “This is eight-year-old heaven…okay, this is me now heaven…” Dina sighed and looked over at pit and then at Ellie.

 

“I want to be fun and spontaneous, but I don’t wanna scare you,” she said.

 

“What?” asked Ellie. She looked far too nervous. Regret bubbled up in Dina’s throat.

 

“No, I just…can I tackle you into the ball pit?” Relief flushed over Ellie’s face.

 

“Not if I get your first!” Ellie let go of her walker and lunged at Dina. Dina let out a yelp as she was pushed into the ball pit.

 

“Hey!” Dina giggled. Ellie smirked. She laid on top of Dina. “I’m drowning…” Dina slipped under the balls.

 

“I’ll save you!” said Ellie. Ellie grabbed Dina and, with Dina’s help, pulled Dina up onto the side. They were both laying there, panting, making intense eye contact.

 

“Gonna give me mouth to mouth?” asked Dina. Ellie blinked in surprise.

 

“That was hot,” said Ellie.  Dina snorted.

 

“Well, it’s a good thing. That’s what I was going for,” said Dina. Ellie leaned down. Dina grabbed her shoulders and brought her into the kiss. Ellie giggled.

 

“Okay. This is fun, but I need to get up,” said Ellie.

 

“Shit. Is this hurting your--” Ellie nodded. Dina scooted back up and pulled Ellie on her back next to her.

 

“This place is awesome,” said Dina. “But I’m so glad a kid didn’t see—” Dina turned around. “Oh. Hello.” There were a couple of maybe middle schoolers standing by the door. “Whoops.”

 

“Ellie?” said one of the kids.

 

“H-hey guys,” said Ellie.


End file.
